Porn fantasy and masturbation

gummianka

Active Member
Hi all.

just started this ( my journal is in the 40 + section, called "Realizing I'm in hell"

Questions:

1. I have not been with a woman for a longer time, and most of my fantasies are about made up women, Playboy models etc. How to cut that from my fantasies? Is that a problem, if I fantasies about sex with those women, however not fantasising about the actual porn use?

2. How hard (no pun intended) is the rule not to masturbate? Is touching a set back? Stroking a bit? stroking until erection?

Thanks
 

pfree1805

Active Member
I don't consider masturbation a relapse. But if you need to fantasise to get off a break from masturbation is probably the best thing.
 

DonLorenzo

Active Member
Some say masturbation isnt the cause to porn addiction/PIED, but when rebooting, most people who succeed cut out the masturbating completely. It sets you back a lot, so I dont recommend it. Only real sex is real sex, and thats where we all are heading right?  ;)
 
Hi npod33
                        Today is my 50th day without PMO. I was actually considering some penial exercises for increase of girth and length will that be a problem.

Thanks ZDC..
 

gummianka

Active Member
The more I read, the more I see that fantasies are a big no-no as well. How the hell do you stop that? My mind is spinning all day long, and I keep sliding into them all the time. And the thoughts are of course this massive mix of real life sex I've had, real life women I would like to have sex with, completely made up fantasies, fantasies involving "fake" people, like online models, porn scenes etc...

Well, it is a massive mix of it all. And since I have cravings like mad, of course these thoughts pop up all the time. Hell, that's what cravings are, thoughts!

So, how to deal with it all? All I can think of is to try and keep away from the hands on things, like not watching porn, not reading erotica, not masturbating, not having an orgasm etc...

but am I missing something? How did you go about this?
 

DonLorenzo

Active Member
Really the most effective way to shake the urges and cravings is to immediately do something when a craving occurs, like go outside, call a friend or do some push ups.
 

Marco

Member
Hi buddy,

I tried it first with M too, but I realized that it is way harder. I thought about sex in a extreme pornographic way, it felt like cheating myself. So I stopped it.
I also think about sex with woman when I see them on the street, office, train, etc. (In my country it is spring, so the hard times will come) That's one of my problems, I objectify women. Instead I try to train my brain to think about different things, like what could be her name, or what could she work, hobbies ... so basically I try to train by brain to think of the person first. But it is real challenge!

Also helping is to find an activity to fill the empty hours of a day and something you can focus on.

I wish you good luck and stay strong!
Marco
 

gummianka

Active Member
OK, I cut out M as well, at least that is the plan. So what you are saying is that the way you kill the fantasy is by not acting on it, and the thoughts will eventually go away?

I find myself always on a position of "don't think of the pink elephant" and of course my thoughts are ONLY about that pink fuck. I can kill the thoughts by action - doing something different, but I cannot use some jedi mind trick to suddenly erase them from my brain.
 

Marco

Member
Yeah, but it needs time. How long? It's different for everyone. I don't know.
There is no mind trick, but every little step you make in the right direction is a small achievement! I acknowledge the little achievements.

I wish you good luck and stay strong!
Marco
 

gummianka

Active Member
Thanks Marco

yeah, today I actually realize that many of my thoughts are gone. It is almost as if my brain got tired of trying to push them to me and simply stored them away. It is actually hard for me to recall some of the fantasies that only two days ago were vivid and constantly on my mind. Gives me great hope to realize this. I think that the stuff that helped my has been:

Cold showers
Not acting on urges
Keeping busy
Mind exercises and meditation
breathing exercises

AMAZING feeling to have altered my thought pattern in such a radical way in only a weeks time. And it really feels like a switch has been turned, from "level 10" down to a level 5 or something.

I am a sad, bitter, depressed, angry son of a bitch, but this is actually something very, very positive. Anyone reading this that is in the pits should take comfort.

God speed y'all
 
Top