Add me to the sorry list of peeps who relapsed!

klarson27

Active Member
Not looking for sympathy...  just expressing my feelings of disappointment that I relapsed... been using porn for a few days now. It had been a good bit of time but I fell to the temptation.

The first thoughts I had were about women?s sex drive as they age. 

As I let my mind ponder that, I started searching the web for more and more detailed topics and bam....  a link to some of the sites I used to visit shows up.  I thought I?d view it without master bating. Worked fine, until later that eve I masterbated to the thought of it.

Several days later I was viewing porn and masterbating!

Im comfortable with the fact that I can stay clean for a good length of time now.

In my life I?d have 3 addictions:

Porn
Marijuana
Alcohol

At any given time I?d always abstain from at least one...  this time I was clean from alcohol and weed, but using porn!

I was able to continue to stay ?clean? in the eyes of my A.A. community,  but the ground truth is that I relapsed.  As eckert tole said ?every addiction arises from your own unconscious refusal to face and move through your own pain.. Whatever you are using (a person, sex, porn, drugs) it?s using someone or something to numb your pain?

I?ll sleep tonight knowing I relapsed but tomorrow I will face the pain without porn, drugs, alcohol.
 

gastoni

Member
Relapses are a part of recovery. We're only human. You know how this works, whether it be alcohol, drugs or porn. It's not a contest.
We already have all the tools and resources to succeed; all we got to do is get up again and use them.

All the best to you!

Life is a journey, not a destination!
 
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