Author Topic: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18  (Read 713 times)

LifeUnchained

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Hi all,

I'm an 18 year old from the UK, and I'm new to this forum, but not new to rebooting.

Here's my story in short:

My addiction began when I was around 12. As I was alone a lot of the time in my room and didn't think I had a whole lot of friends, I used to spend a lot of my time, gaming and watching shows that were really not appropriate for a 12 year old, which eventually led me onto watching some really nasty P by the time I was about 13-14. This continued, watching P around 1 or 2 times a day until I was about 16 when I met a girl. We dated for a bit, but during this time I could not stop watching P, and I thought that I must have a problem because even when I was going out with this beautiful, lovely girl, I still wanted to watch P. Eventually my brief relationship with her ended and my addiction continued to this day, with brief periods of success and devastating periods of failure.

Today, I sit here, writing this, after breaking up with another girl, with the same addiction I had when I was 12. This time, however, I am going to get over it. I know it'll be tough, but I want my life to get better, my mood to improve and to never mess a girl about again.

At this point in time, I know I have a few addictions under my belt: PMO addiction, sexting addiction and an addiction to fantasizing. To stop the first two, I'm getting rid of my smartphone for good and getting a basic phone, that only texts and calls (goodbye Snapchat streaks). The next one is a little trickier and I think a few things will help: meditation before bed, getting up earlier, not lying in bed awake in the morning, using my bedroom only for sleeping, keeping myself busy throughout the day, allowing myself to relax properly and positively (eg by having a shower) and going to the gym in my town once a week.

I've read some books about addictions and a few self-help books (Awaken the Giant Within (I never finished that one), The Brain that Changes Itself, Manhood by Terry Crews (not really a self-help, but includes relevant stuff) and I've started, but never really got into Think and Grow Rich) which have helped a lot. If anyone has any more suggestions for books to read which involve addiction recovery, addiction science, self-help, self-improvement and everything in between, please let me know as they help a lot:)

I'm really bad at journals and I have tried so many times to write one consistently, but I always stop them if I relapse. I know journals are great, and I will keep up with this one each day. I'm also going to set up a day counter on paper, counting down from 90 days.

Any tips or advice anyone has would be very much appreciated (especially on the fantasizing and sexting side of things because those are two areas I struggle with alot).

Anyway, thank you guys and I look forward to recovering within this community:)

See ya tomorrow!

pruthukkc

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Re: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2018, 11:06:04 AM »
               ALL THE BEST LifeUnchained! YOU ARE ON RIGHT TRACK.YOU CAN DO IT.
When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.

Mohamad zahwi

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Re: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2018, 11:14:30 AM »
Alright, you go dude!

As far as book recommendations , my advice would be not to actually read any books. I think You already know all you need to know about your addiction.

However if there is one thing that was kind of an eye opener for me, it was this article: (It deals with the addiction subject at the beginning)

https://boldanddetermined.com/how-to-be-the-light/

Feel free to check out all the articles too. This guy changed my life.

LifeUnchained

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Re: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2018, 04:07:03 PM »
Thanks guys!:) and I will read that article, thanks man!

LifeUnchained

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Re: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2018, 04:09:44 PM »
Today is day 1 complete, with 89 days left to go.

This is my first day without a smartphone and it feels so freeing. I even told my friends about my choice to give up my phone, and they respected me for it.

 I finally feel like I'm me again, and I love it:)

pruthukkc

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Re: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2018, 06:33:39 AM »
 All the best LifeUnchained. You can do it :)
When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.

LifeUnchained

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Re: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2018, 04:02:35 PM »
All the best LifeUnchained. You can do it :)

Thanks man!:)

LifeUnchained

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Re: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2018, 04:04:55 PM »
Today is day 2, with 88 days to go.

I felt genuinely happy today and content. I'm not sure if that's because of giving up my phone, or just simply because I'm more positive about giving up PMO. Either way, today was a good day:) Sure I had some ups and downs, but overall it came out alright.

I know that I will experience bad days at some point, and I hope I'm reading for those, but I know that now I'm in a better and stronger position to deal with those.

LifeUnchained

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Re: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2018, 04:27:35 PM »
Today is day 3, with 87 days left.

Today was one of the best Valentines Days I have had in a very long time as I actually spent it with someone that means a lot to me, rather than staring for hours at a screen. I laughed, felt happiness and anxiousness that I have not felt for ages.

I'm quite tired at the moment and I think that's a combination of giving up my addiction to both PMO and my mobile phone, but that too shall pass; I've just got to get through the withdrawal symptoms:)

I'm also feeling a lot more 'in the moment' now. It's great, although sometimes I find it difficult to actually get my words out, but that will pass in time.


Mohamad zahwi

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Re: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18
« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2018, 11:29:55 PM »
That is fucking fantastic my man.

"I actually spent it with someone that means a lot to me, rather than staring for hours at a screen."

Way to go!  8)

LifeUnchained

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Re: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18
« Reply #10 on: February 15, 2018, 03:30:25 PM »
That is fucking fantastic my man.

"I actually spent it with someone that means a lot to me, rather than staring for hours at a screen."

Way to go!  8)

Hey thanks man!  Keep fighting:)

LifeUnchained

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Re: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18
« Reply #11 on: February 15, 2018, 03:46:27 PM »
Hey all!

Today is day 4, with 86 days left.

Today I felt tired (very tired) and I was kind of socially awkward a lot of the time, but hey, we all get days like that, right? All I know is that it'll get better eventually:)

Now, I'm going to mention giving up my smartphone (like I do every day haha), but honestly, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made when it comes to both rebooting and life in general. For one, I have no way of ever reaching P, so it's literally impossible for me to watch it! (except when I'm watching tv, where I methodically skip all scenes which could trigger me, because watching the same stuff you watch on your laptop or smartphone on Game of Thrones is still P, right?) Secondly, triggers are almost nonexistent, which is great from a rebooters point of view!
The reason I was cautious about giving up my phone in the first place was the number of things I use it for (or at least the number of things I thought I used it for). Think about it, what do you actually use your smartphone for? You probably check your emails, text your friends or girlfriend/boyfriend/your mum, use social media, use the torch sometimes, use the internet to do your work maybe and ... go on a game that really you know is pretty crap? Honestly, that's what I did and, even so, I thought I couldn't live without it, but you know what? You definitely can. I'm able to use computers in public or at home to check my emails/social media/do work, use a basic brick phone to text my friends/mum and use an actual torch when I need it.

What I'm getting at is, it's not that bad not having a smartphone and it is (currently) helping me a lot with my reboot. It's not like living under a rock and socially isolating yourself because you can't speak to your friends 24/7, in fact, it's like coming out from under that rock you've been living under for so long; you finally get to reconnect with life!

So, I urge anyone to just try it, even if that means putting your phone in a draw for a day and not thinking about it, and I can guarantee that if you're like me, you'll feel a lot better:)



LifeUnchained

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Re: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2018, 08:28:09 AM »
Today is day 7 with 83 days left to go..., well sort of

I haven't entered into my reboot journal for a couple of days now, as I have been with my girlfriend for a couple of days (woohoo we're back together). We have had sex, therefore technically I haven't been keeping to all the parameters of no PMO, even though I know I should be. I've discussed it with her, and she's fine with allowing me the time to get over this, which is great, so from now on, I'm going to be keeping my reboot to the book and keep my days currently achieved during my reboot as they are.

I think an important lesson to learn from this is that it's always okay to talk to your loved ones about P addiction and rebooting, as they do genuinely understand. You may have to give them time and explain it a bit, but I have found that everyone I have told (which is most of my family, my girlfriend and some of my friends) have all either been respectful or so understanding.

On another note, I'm feeling pretty calm and collected right now and, as always, living without a smartphone is pretty darn' good;)

In terms of mini-goals I set myself to help my reboot, I haven't been to the gym yet, but I'm reluctant to go for no real reason. I've started to eat better (a mini-goal I added recently to help give me more energy). I haven't started meditation before bed, but that's an easy one to implement and I'll be starting that from tonight onwards. Reading is going well, although I'm reading a science-themed book right now, I'm going onto reread Think and Grow Rich afterward (but properly and I'm definitely going to finish it this time). I've been letting myself relax properly and regularly, but I've still got to find the balance between hard work and relaxing, as I don't think I've mastered that yet (any suggestions would be great:). Getting out of bed earlier has been a bit on and off, but slowly I'm going to get there, and finally, I haven't been using my bedroom really for anything other than sleeping.

I think I'd like to think of a few more things to allow myself to relax. Having a bath is a great one for me, but there's only so many baths I can have in one day without looking a bit odd and I totally can't have a bath in public (sigh). Reading is also a great one I use to relax, and that's working well, and mediation will be implemented as of today! The only new one I've thought of so far is learning a language, but I'm not sure which one yet.

Anyways, see ya tomorrow guys!

LifeUnchained

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Re: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18
« Reply #13 on: February 19, 2018, 01:57:40 PM »
Today I'm back to day 0, with 90 days left to go.

I thought there was no way to access P, but I came across an old laptop today and one thing led to another, leading to my relapse. I've asked my mum to get rid of that laptop, and she's going to, so that is a step forward at least.

I don't think it's a sustainable method to just hide away from technology like this, but I'm going to keep at it as I think it helps a lot. I need greater willpower when it comes to battling these urges when I come across some unattended piece of technology and not use it for PMO purposes, as I am bound to come across another one at some point.

I think sex in part caused my relapse to happen, so I will stick to my decision in avoiding that. I've noticed that in place of me using my smartphone a lot, I've turned to things like checking my emails and browsing through Facebook, and although this is usually harmless, I don't really want to replace one addiction with another, so I'm going to try and limit that.

I also did not meditate as I said I would do during my last entry, therefore mediation will start from tonight onwards (for real this time).

I'm going to keep at it:) It's bound to get easier, the more I try. Also, I'm not going to change my title from 'The day I finally stop 11/02/18' because I think it symbolises the day that I really start trying to improve my life and grow up a little, as well as implementing life-changing practices like giving up my smartphone.

Jones

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Re: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18
« Reply #14 on: February 20, 2018, 08:03:03 PM »
Hey man.
I personally think giving up the smartphone use is one of the best way to quit p. Without these devices you can't relapse.I skip using it for a few days then repeat the process. I can't quit it overall cuz I think I'd go insane tbh. I stop playing games,quit watching shows/TV with those sexy girls and it's going fine.when you reach a certain point in the reboot your sex drive is gonna come back with a vengeance and that's when I'll quit using my phone all together. I can feel the pain from now lol but that's what I have to put myself through if I want to make it. Am here with you on your journey bro,don't give up.

Do or die

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Re: You can do anything you set your mind to. The day I finally stop 11/02/18
« Reply #15 on: February 23, 2018, 09:32:58 AM »
Do it well again you can do it ...
Doing real reboot i.e: reboot without relapsing.from 27 December 2017. if i not stop it today then one day is come when there is not any method to regain myself. that is if i relapse now then no any reboot can able to change myself. then its last chance to do it.