Author Topic: 30ish year old with hope  (Read 278 times)

vawls1

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30ish year old with hope
« on: January 25, 2018, 10:19:59 PM »
I believe I initially posted this in the wrong forum as I relate much better to people my age range.

Hi fellow fapstronauts. I'm grateful to have found this place as I was introduced to porn at about 12-13 and am now in my 30s. I was alright throughout high school and college regarding stress, anxiety, etc...for the most part. Then adulthood hits, my father suffered in bad health for a long time then passed, work stress, etc.

In doing some reading, ok a LOT of reading as I've become OCD (gee I wonder what that is a symptom of) about our plight, I've come across something to bounce off you guys and/or gals to see if this possibly ties together what we're going through.

First, Gary's finding of this study on addiction - https://yourbrainonporn.com/hpa-axis-dysregulation-men-hypersexual-disorder-2015. Addiction makes it more difficult for us to regulate stress.

Second, stress produces cortisol (learned something with my biology degree for once). Excess stress produces a lot of cortisol.

Third, this - https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/stress-hormone-causes-epigenetic-changes. Hence why some of this may actually have genetic predecessors for this stuff. I know my family had some addiction issues throughout the years. Thankfully I didn't besides porn. I won't quote the whole article but stress and cortisol alter our genetics! The more we stress, the more likely we are to stress. It's like muscle memory. Of course they want to do further research but that's pretty convincing to me. Check out the article, it's pretty fascinating. This could explain why we get OCD, anxiety, depression, etc. Maybe?

Fourth, most of us hit that flatline after stopping PMO. Are you doing other things that still may be altering your ability to heal? Stressing? Drinking excess caffeine which again contributes to cortisol production and stress? Over-consuming other substances like alcohol? etc etc. This could be why SSRIs don't affect every person the same, because our behaviors are different and maybe porn addiction isn't the only thing screwing up our stress levels.

To me, this would tie together why things like CBT, Meditation, Yoga, etc all contribute to healing from depression, OCD, anxiety, etc. They help to manage your stress response. And things like SSRIs are supposed to help rebuild the brain, from what I understand.

Are we overdosing our bodies on stress? PMO, alcohol, caffeine, work stress, cortisol...whatever it may be.

Anyhow, that's something that struck me as interesting as I've done all this reading and could explain our superpowers when we stop PMO. That's my theory for now. Will update going forward in my journey. Went 70+ days toward the end of 2017 but relapsed. Did it again the week after, and now back on nofap.

vawls1

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Re: 30ish year old with hope
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2018, 04:28:53 PM »
Day 7 with no PMO. Going hard mode because I think it's best for my situation.

Having some strange dreams, feeling anxious some of the time and my OCD is on full tilt. Silly me had a cup of coffee yesterday knowing the effects and it would exacerbate my other conditions. Gotta stop that.

vawls1

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Re: 30ish year old with hope
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2018, 08:35:38 PM »
Anxiety been a bit up and down. Have actually had some moments of real peace from anxiety and OCD, and those moments are glorious.

vawls1

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Re: 30ish year old with hope
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2018, 04:57:57 PM »
Good day today. Going to run tonight to keep the momentum going. No cravings for porn, anxiety is low, no coffee. Going to be bumps in the coming days, I'm sure, but I'll take this today.

vawls1

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Re: 30ish year old with hope
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2018, 12:22:58 PM »
17 days PMO free and I am actually having a great day so far today. I FEEL better than I have since my last PMO session. I feel relaxed and balanced. I'm trying to stay on a schedule of running 3 miles 3x per week and lifting twice per week to aid in recovery

vawls1

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Re: 30ish year old with hope
« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2018, 02:56:14 PM »
Wanted to share this with myself and others in this forum from the main forum:

Yes. Exercise is shown to aid in neurogenesis, which is key to recovering from many mental health issues -

http://www.uab.edu/medicine/neurobiology/news-events/news-archive/127-how-do-neuroplasticity-and-neurogenesis-rewire-your-brain

https://www.uab.edu/medicine/news/latest/item/1382-brain-plasticity-how-adult-born-neurons-get-wired-in

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2693911/.

The last article mentions how neurogenesis alters our HPA axis - the fight or flight stress response, and helps explain why some of us (most of us, I imagine) have coexisting mental health issues like anxiety, depression, etc.


"Interestingly, moderate to vigorous physical activity (MVPA) is one of the most effective ways to stimulate neurogenesis and the birth of new granule cells in the hippocampus and the cerebellum"

vawls1

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Re: 30ish year old with hope
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2018, 11:36:06 PM »
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3860380/

"The term allostasis refers to the process through which various biological processes attempt to restore homeostasis when an organism is threatened by various types of stress in the internal or external environment. Allostatic responses can involve alterations in HPA axis function, the nervous system, various signaling molecules in the body, or other systems. Allostatic alterations in HPA axis function have been posited to, among other things, injure brain reward pathways, contribute to depressed mood (i.e., dysphoria) and craving, and further contribute to the maintenance of problem drinking behavior."

vawls1

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Re: 30ish year old with hope
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2018, 02:14:05 AM »
Also two more things to think about - https://bebrainfit.com/reduce-cortisol-stress-hormone/.

Exercise helps decrease stress hormones in our body, and there are other things we can do to help.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/exercising-to-relax

"The mental benefits of aerobic exercise have a neurochemical basis. Exercise reduces levels of the body's stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. It also stimulates the production of endorphins, chemicals in the brain that are the body's natural painkillers and mood elevators. Endorphins are responsible for the "runner's high" and for the feelings of relaxation and optimism that accompany many hard workouts — or, at least, the hot shower after your exercise is over."

vawls1

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Re: 30ish year old with hope
« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2018, 10:40:32 PM »
28 days clean now. I can feel my stress level evening out. Urges have gotten easier to resist. Still look at beautiful women but avoid the fantasizing that would have eventually led me down the road to PMO.

I'm thinking I need a long, long reboot to recovery. Some sites say long term addicts like myself need 9-18 months, and I think I fall into that category since I found porn young. I'm feeling confident that this time I will beat it.

whereismoxy

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Re: 30ish year old with hope
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2018, 04:54:04 AM »
your not alone in your thinking. i consider myself a severe addict. ive made it too 100+ days twice with no improvements with PIED.

here is to our success!
last PMO: january twenty-eight, two-thousand eighteen

DepressedAndOut

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Re: 30ish year old with hope
« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2018, 05:34:18 AM »
I have a feeling it will take me 2-4 years IF I recover.

This is much more difficult for a virgin in his 30s. Possibility impossible.
First Reboot - January 2017
Last PMO - August 2017 (Caused shrunk Penis and less blood flow! Instant abandonment of Porn!)
Last MO - November 2017 (Caused even less blood flow)

In Hardmode……

vawls1

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Re: 30ish year old with hope
« Reply #11 on: February 14, 2018, 04:12:36 PM »
I have a feeling it will take me 2-4 years IF I recover.

This is much more difficult for a virgin in his 30s. Possibility impossible.

Not at all impossible. I'm a virgin in my early thirties. I let porn take away my natural desire to be with women and destroy my confidence.

I legitimately feel better than I have in a long time on this second streak. I truly think the heightened stress response from being addicted to PMO, linked from me in an above post - along with the tolerance we've built up for dopamine - over a long period of time has a huge role in causing our issues - depression, PIED, OCD, whatever you may be experiencing. Mine has been depression, OCD and anxiety. Severe OCD and anxiety, possibly mild depression even though the doctor said MDD. Couple my out of whack HPA axis with some seriously crappy life events like losing loved ones sent me and my body into an almost daily overload.

The NIH articles I've read about chronic stress being a probable cause of mental health issues just make too much sense to me. Trying to regulate stress and help your body manage stress has been one of my main focuses - exercising, yoga, etc. Though through parts of this recovery I've had it all - existential crises, panic attacks, major OCD, sadness, flurries of emotion. However, today, 1 month into my second reboot, I feel great. My first reboot went to about 75 days then I binged because "just to help stress". That didn't work out too well.

I have answers to my questions about the purpose of life that I was obsessing - and I don't mean that in hyperbole - about. I do believe this is all too perfect to not be created. We have these neurotransmitters that literally help us experience life, and we've short circuited that reward system because we've overloaded it - and possibly with major life events contributing. We can't feel like we used to in those moments.

I can sum up my conclusion in the old mantra "live and let live". Get out and experience, even when you sure as hell don't want to leave the house.

Keep the fight brothers. There is hope.
« Last Edit: February 14, 2018, 05:24:40 PM by vawls1 »

vawls1

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Re: 30ish year old with hope
« Reply #12 on: February 14, 2018, 04:14:51 PM »
your not alone in your thinking. i consider myself a severe addict. ive made it too 100+ days twice with no improvements with PIED.

here is to our success!

Yes sir. We can and will succeed. I think the 90-100 day marker is a generalization for when things get better on average. For people like me (us?) that got into this young when our brains were easily malleable, it's going to take a while longer. But that's ok. I'm in this for the long haul.

vawls1

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Re: 30ish year old with hope
« Reply #13 on: February 19, 2018, 12:46:37 AM »
M'd ONCE last week one month to the day into this reboot. It was good because I did not binge and I am still in control. I wish I hadn't done it but I felt like I was often on edge of O, and saw semen leakage. Calculated risk and I'm still feeling good.

vawls1

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Re: 30ish year old with hope
« Reply #14 on: Today at 12:25:14 PM »
Bit of a rough end to the week mood wise yesterday, but feeling great today. A nice bounceback from what seemed like a stress imbalance last night