Phone sex problem- advice needed

Hi, i've recently accepted that i have a phone sex addiction. I've been using phone sex for over 10 years but it has escalated over the past year. I have not used it for 3 months now and am feeling that i can give it up for good as i now understand it's addictive potential for me. The problem that i have is that the girl that i talked to most kind of became a friend over the last 3 years of us talking regularly. I feel that i need to speak to her one last time to explain that i won't be calling anymore and to say goodbye. Part of me feels i need to do this for closure to finally move on, but part of me is scared that it will reignite addictive pathways in my brain!
I's appreciate anyone's comments or advice.
Thanks

Why do you want to stop talking to her ? Is it because you can't see her only as a friend ?

EDIT : My bad, didn't understand. Yeah you should stop it, unless you can have a relationship with her outside the phone talks. Congratz for the 3 months !
I mean, unless it's an authentic friend, you don't have to call her to say you stopped the phone sex addiction

I only talk to her on the phone sex line, and our frienship has developed around ever more elaborate sexual fantasies and the desire to meet up and act them out. She fuelled my addiction so i know i have to stop talking to her, but i like her as a person and feel i should explain why i'm not going to talk to her anymore.

If you respect her as a person, then I would do it for the closure you seek. One might debate if she cares or not, since it is her profession. But I see no harm in treating a person with kindness.

Mart71 said:

If you respect her as a person, then I would do it for the closure you seek. One might debate if she cares or not, since it is her profession. But I see no harm in treating a person with kindness.

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I think you're right. But only if he has the feeling that the developing relationship was authentic.

Thanks for the genuine advice, i really appreciate it.

Twostroke said:

I only talk to her on the phone sex line, and our frienship has developed around ever more elaborate sexual fantasies and the desire to meet up and act them out. She fuelled my addiction so i know i have to stop talking to her, but i like her as a person and feel i should explain why i'm not going to talk to her anymore.

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I never did the phone sex thing but correct me if I'm wrong...
Doesn't she get paid by the minute or some sort of time she keeps you on the phone?
You said you only talk to her on phone sex line.

I can tell that you miss her and there's nothing wrong with that. I just have a hunch that this association you have,
at least from her perspective is not as sincere as you think. I would cancel attempts to call her.

Yes Viper that's correct, she does get paid per minute for talking to guys. I did actually call her one last time and she was sad that i'd decided not to speak to her anymore, and actually got tearful about it to my surprise. I feel better for having done it, i respect her as a person and feel it was the right thing to do, and it's confirmed for me that my feelings about her was no more than friends. I was addicted to the heavily porn influenced phone sex sessions we used to have, which gave me some incredibly intense orgasms. She's a porn addict too and the excitement of talking to a girl who also gets off on talking about pure filth was highly arousing. We would sometimes watch the same porn clips as we talked and that gave me some mind blowing orgasms which is why i was so hooked.
I'm glad to say that although i still have cravings that i haven't had phone sex with her for over 3 months now and i can feel the addiction waning and can see the harm it was doing to me (and my wallet!). The cravings are weakening and i feel that having spoken to her and explained things, said goodbye and wished her well allows me to really start putting it in the past.

I also accepted in this process that i am a porn addict as well as a phone sex addict and the two activities fed each other. So now i'm giving up porn too...only 7 days in and so far so good, the whole things been a bit of an emotional roller coaster but i'm feeling like i'm starting to get a bit more mental clarity now.

I have to say that this site has been amazing and understanding the science of addiction and how it creates strong addiction pathways in the brain, dopamine highs and desensitisation has been a revelation and a real asset in resisting the urges. It feels very similar to when i gave up smoking and used a similar site for support, so i feel like i kind of know the process but am not being complacent.

First of all, congratulations on 3 months no phone sex.
I could understand how difficult it was to part ways with your favorite phone sex girl.
A real man admits when he is hooked and it's real mature to recognize that it's not good
for your life. I commend you.
And now that you're one week deep into rebooting, I'm not going to lie to you and say it's
smooth sailing. There will be some highs and lows. Rough waters will test your vessel
but you'll have to go through this to reach recovery island. There are many guys
there waiting to make a toast to you when you arrive. Then there are those of us who are on that journey
with you. Keep up the good work.