Difference between frustration and the urge?

I've been single for about 7 months, and before that we were sexually active regularly. Not surprisingly, after we went our separate ways, I resorted to PMO to relieve myself. :-\ I'm wondering if any of the members here have been able to tell the difference between just plain sexual frustration and the urge.

The two are not mutually exclusive.
Reason being is that you can have a good sex life and still want to rub one out.
So when I was single, it really didn't matter. The only thing that changed
was the frequency. When I knew I was getting some, I probably was more
willing to hold back. But when I'm at my house late at night without her and the Cinemax
skin flicks come on, I may just be inclined to beat my meat.
Put it this way, I didn't think I was addicted simply because I didn't have it on my
phone or other mobile devices like most do. So I thought I was somehow an exception.
Plus I didn't do it every day like most addicts. Now look at me....in the depths of PIED.
Simply put, addiction is addiction.

Thansk for your sharing VIPER


OK my sharing is this...

Urge, is simpley few thoughts about the desire or suggestion to watch porn

Frustration, are series of negative and painful thoughts about the urges.

So urge says, lets go watch porn, frustration says, FUCK this sucks I keep thining about porn....

So urge is actually not a problem, because we can just change our focus and channel the urge in to motivation and creativity and courage...

Frustration on the other hand is self created due to us having NEGATIVE attitude... we feel powerless, we dont have hope and we feel the pain of addiction will continue... so we feel frustrated.

So it is helpful for us to remain hopeful, connected to our purpose and reason why, and follow the example of others (Like GABE) who have successfuly recovered from porn addiction, and through this we can let go of being frustrated and realize our power to control and direct our thoughts.

lastly I want to give you some feed back on your situation.

i know the feeling you may be feeling it is hard to be cut off from sex, but realize that your life mission is not to hump women all day, you have much greater reason to be alive, and you will have PLENTY of sex in years to come, but life has given you a chance to realize you wont DIE without sex...

I too used to have sex ALOT (see my video on sex addiction below) and then I went broke and lost my jobs and I lost all my power and became sex less, but through this process it opened up the door to finding real happiness through my fitness, meditation and creating a very healthy body and happiness that is NOT dependant on a women.

So basically look at it as season that is teaching you something, an the sooner you learn the lesson the sooner youll get laid again... so the sooner you realize you dont die wihtout sex and you can be happy by focusing on making yourself strong, the sooner you get sex just because you dont "NEED" it


Hope this helps! Be happy!

There are many ways to psychology. But to be effective, you have to "practice" a lot or else you can't help.

1. Practice exploring the body - when alone, think about things that make us angry. Examine body changes from the start of your anger to the most angry about changes such as eyebrows, fainting, shortness of breath, tense, fists, hard teeth in the shoulders, like in the belly, lumpy, etc.

2. Muscle relaxation training - Continuing from one Take several deep breaths and close your eyes. Slowly explore the various points of your body from head to toe. The tense part is to relax the muscles. Take a deep breath and focus. At this time, slowly explore from the toes to the head. The tense part is to relax the muscles. Do this many times And observe the changes in body and mood to see if it cools down

3. Practice often. When the real situation will increase awareness. That the body is responding to anger You do something like the second, deep breathing many times. And slowly relax the muscles along the body

4. Ask for time out - when you realize that you are angry, for example, start yelling at the other person and your body goes into intense stress mode. (Feeling tense, heavy muscles, clenching your teeth, etc.), ask for time to spend time with the other person. In which you are withdrawing from that situation Tell the other party straight away to know that "Now really angry. Really can't talk well And don't want to hurt each other Please take some time to cool down and we will talk well. "This way, you should first agree with the other person that if anyone is angry, they can ask for time out. Regardless of how many minutes you have to go, for example, it is 10 minutes. When you request a button, you can count it. Set the time as well The rule is that during that time each side must really be separated. Do not reconcile or come to arguments between those 10 minutes for you to take a deep breath. Try to relax the muscles Or doing activities that you like to distract, such as picking a cartoon to read Playing games on mobile phones, playing funny pictures, listening to chilling music, etc. After 10 minutes, you can talk for a reason. If you get angry again, ask for time to leave again. Keep doing like this. (Don't forget that the other party can also ask for part-time as well. You must respect the agreement as well.)

5. Rubber band - Help remind one another by putting rubber on the wrist. Once I started to realize that I was angry, I was rubbery. In order to be aware Then take a deep breath Relax muscles Or requesting a time out according to item 4
?????????????????????
6. For some people who cannot ask for a time-out, withdraw from the situation, such as being hit by a car with a sloping face. Change the lane and drive away. Do not drive behind the track or honk the horn. Or if angry, people will walk away, do not argue Once he withdrew he took a deep breath. Relax muscles

7. Improve conversation - Use the word "I" to focus on your own experience. (Avoid blaming others first) such as "I feel ... I think ... "Then, looking at the other person's side, for example," You might feel ... Right? She thinks, right? "Showing compassion can help cool the situation.

If you can do this, practice often, you will not change immediately but You will gradually improve.