My Story Last Part ( I promise
)
Well we finally get to the end of the journey, if you have been reading this and have gotten this far, I just want to say thanks for reading and hope my story helps in some way.
Straight off the bat, lets go into those books that I mentioned last time.
I was introduced to this first book by a friend while still at school who had a similar background to mine, something along the lines of introverted loner
. All of a sudden he comes out of nowhere one day and is dating this amazingly good looking girl from school. I asked him how the hell he managed to accomplish this feat and he said 'read this, it will change your life'. It sure did.
Neil Strauss wrote a book called The Game in 2005. In it he talks about how he transformed his personality from a low self esteemed and introverted guy to being voted as the worlds number one pick up artist. The book is about his experience as a pick up artist and the community he was involved in.
WORD OF CAUTION. DO NOT READ HIS BOOKS. THEY ARE LOADED WITH CONTENT THAT WILL MAKE YOU RELAPSE. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED.
These pick up artists are really just maladjusted men (myself included) when it comes to the subject of women and intimacy. They are however men who decided to master elements of social, emotional, female and relationship psychology. Furthermore they had enough courage to step out of their comfort zones and go out and get what they wanted by measuring and noting what techniques and observations could be improved each night with the girls that they interacted with.
Coming from a background where there were no exciting role models to aspire to, here all of a sudden was an everyman kinda guy who I could relate to and who shared some techniques and elements of psychology that would allow me to get the one thing that I always wanted but was too afraid of going for. I was the nice guy who was sick of being seen as the nice guy friend but not the boyfriend. Now here was a role model whose footsteps I could try and walk in! After reading that book I decided that what I lacked in 'jock strength' and popularity I could make up with a burning desire to spend as much time as I could learning about this community! ........I was so naive back then.
You know my story so you know that my combination of a growing pornography addiction and my 'perfect girlfriend syndrome' was not exactly a good foundation to seek or build a healthy relationship on, let alone throw in pick up artistry knowledge into the mix......in retrospect I wish I had understood this. But seeing as I didnt, young AdamS threw himself into learning as much of this stuff as he could. I spent a year learning the theory behind pick up. The year after that (my gap year) I put it into practice....
... Which brings me to my 2nd book: The Good Book
Im Jewish. Although I may not have all that much of a religious background. I do value the culture and elements of the religion, even though I cant say I'd done much research or been that committed to keeping the faith at that point. Ill be getting back to this aspect later as it is something that over the years leading to now I've slowly become more interested in. I brought it up now because of the one thing I did manage to take from my religion growing up, the value of keeping your virginity.
The year when I was putting all that theory into practice further cemented my brains focus on a romance and sexual nature, fully integrating my downtime with pornography use. By this point I could confidently attract anyone to me and get them to a bedroom. Just cuddles and kisses, the most I decided to go was getting head one night....and to this day its still a night Id rather not have had gotten that far. If I wanted to I could have spent a little bit more time researching the psychology of how to escalate towards actual sex and easily escalate further. Fortunately my v-card is not something I wanted to throw away to some random like what the rest of my friends did on the gap year.
Hey, I never said that the 4 books that brought me here would have to be all positive did I??
My gap year was in 2010. Over the years I outgrew the pick up artistry knowledge, the psychology behind it was incredible but it became too overwhelming. Think about it like this: You're a guy who starts out with no experience with women what so ever. All of a sudden you discover a community that can teach you how to get that experience. Now you have access to an increasing amount of different 'masters', books, theories and viewpoints and as good as you may get, you never reach a point where you feel confident in your own ability or self esteem to be worthy of being in the company of interesting people in social situations. Instead of enjoying a good evening you analyse and break down everything that happens in to stuff that you know you can handle and stuff that ends up being a whole bunch of what ifs, leading you to to do even more research on minor details and repeat this spiral of social perfection that you begin to find yourself trapped in.
So I became less sociable over the years as a result. Which brings us to 2015 and yesterdays post. You could see how things were starting to change with my relationship towards pornography.
A couple of important things happened that year (in this order):
1. I started building a business with a big emphasis on personal development. I started learning from real personal development teachers in the books that I read. The most influential of which, so far, was Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
2. I decided to learn a bit more about my religion. Especially to do with M'ing and sex. I liked what I read online about the Jewish take on that subject. It made sense to me. I learnt that if I truly wanted to go hardcore and align myself closer to the laws of my religion with regard to this subject it meant that I needed to totally give up M'ing for life. Obviously, a very daunting undertaking.
3. Neil Strauss's sequel to The Game was published.
(Book 3) Think and Grow Rich is a book that I highly recommend that you all read. In truth, its not really a book. Its a textbook.
With multiple reads, thorough analysis of its chapters and application of its content you will gain access to serious habits that will lead you to the riches you deserve and your fulfilling your true potential.
If this is your first time hearing about this book, here is a present for you for being such a good sport and reading all the way up until here, enjoy! : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Think_and_Grow_Rich and http://eventualmillionaire.com/Resources/ThinkandGrowRich.pdf.
The chapter that interested me the most in my first read through of this masterpiece was Chapter 10: The Mystery of Sex Transmutation. Read this chapter and you will understand why
So towards the end of 2015 I understood the religious perspective and success benefits to living a life of no PMO. Porn was beginning to lose its grip on me. The act of watching porn now just was getting less and less pleasurable but I was still relapsing every now and again even though I was trying to go without it. It was Strauss's follow up to The Game however that really hit it home for me. The book is called The Truth (Book 4).
AGAIN, WORD OF WARNING. IF YOU READ THIS BOOK, YOU WILL BE EXPOSED TO MATERIAL THAT WILL MAKE YOU RELAPSE. DONT.
Towards the end of the year I found out about this book so in December I decided to reread The Game and then buy The Truth. Although the pick up stuff that I learnt utterly pales in comparison to the personal development stuff I'm learning now I will always have a small appreciation for the few positive things that I learnt from that chapter in my life.
The Game's story didnt really have that much of a solid conclusion. It did however end on a bittersweet note. The community ended up in a shambles with all the major players ending their business relationships with each other or entering into some rehab institute. Neil however found a great girl that he wanted to have a stable relationship with and vowed that he would never engage in the pick up industry again. So it looks like this everyman hero won the day and the girl in the end! Happy ending, right?
Here's what I learned about rereading The Game: The community grew so huge because one of the major players read Think and Grow Rich at one point and applied its principles. (Oh the irony!!
)
Here's what I learned after reading The Truth: 10 Years later I finally get to find out what happened to my everyman hero. The guy who broke away from the community to live a normal life yet still got what he wanted in the end. Finally I get to hear about whats been happening in his life and how successful he has become! 10 Years later, it turns out, I found out that my very first hero was in fact a sex addict who also was one of those major players who had himself checked into rehab for his addiction. :-\
The important thing about this was that I didnt know that such a thing was possible. Neil really went in depth into talking about his addiction, it was interesting to see how small, seemingly irrelevant, experiences at a young age shaped this man into a sex addict. Some of the people he was in rehab with were porn addicts. And that got me really thinking......Am I an addict too? How is it that I understand the religious background and success benefits of a life without PMO yet I still end up relapsing after a couple of days?
In short, a few New Years Resolutions and Google searches later and I found myself here.
Which lead me to my first post: ...And So It Begins... written on the 4th of Jan.
That was 11 Days ago.
Day 11 PMO Free
Thanks again for reading!
-AdamS
