Hey guys,
I decided to post my story now as well and I'm very interested in your opinion and advice.
My story in a nutshell:
30 years old and addicted to porn since 14. Because of my addiction I've always been very inhibited and anxious when it comes to women. At 21 I finally had my first relationship/sex. My addiction became a little weaker, but still continued. Except for the beginning I rarely had ED problems ? fortunately my ex-GF was a very understanding woman. At 25, after we separated (not due to porn), I immediately became heavily addicted again and fell into a deep dark hole for a few years which I could only get out of with psychiatric help. With great difficulty I somehow managed to finish my studies and more or less get a grip on my life.
Now I'm stable, but my porn addiction is still here. The last 5 months I tried quitting this drug again, but to no success, even though at least the frequency and severity of relapses decreased. Sometimes I manage to be porn-free for 1-2 weeks.
My current main problem:
Since the end of my last relationship I can't satisfy my desire for real sex, because:
a) I have no idea how/where I should get to know real women
(I generally avoid parties/nightlife, because I'm also prone to alcohol addiction and consumption of alcohol always makes me binge hard on porn the day afterwards. I also don't use dating apps, because I'm afraid that I'm unattractive and can't compete with most other men and that any negative experiences with dating apps would drag me down and lead me back to porn even further)
b) I'm extremely afraid of sexual failure (= not getting an erection in bed)
(3 months ago I had the following drastic experience: after 5 years of complete abstinence from actual sex I met a woman by coincidence during a journey. We got along very well and eventually ended up in bed together. But sex didn't happen, because I couldn't manage to get an erection, no matter what she tried doing. The woman wasn't happy about that and I never heard from her again.)
This experience basically caused a downright sex phobia for me. It certainly is a mixture of desensitization due to years of porn + self-fulfilling prophecy. Since then I'm even more anxious and inhibited when it comes to women, because I'm afraid of sexual failure. I have the impression that most women simply have no understanding for ED and perceive a lack of erection as a personal insult. And I certainly can't tell a woman on a first date what my problem is. My ex-GF probably was an exception in this regard.
In order to solve my problems it is absolutely clear that I have to continue to try quitting porn for good. At the same time I was thinking about the following consideration:
Would it make sense to pay for the services of a prostitute in order to get rid of/diminish my fear and inhibitions of sex? After all, I can't lose anything (except for a few 100?), because those women wouldn't care about my ED problems as long as they get paid? So to speak, I would finally be able to ?practice? real sex after years of absence.
I also consulted with my general practitioner about my ED and he told me it sounds like psychological-induced ED and he would be willing to prescribe Viagra and said the problem would then be solved after a few attempts.
To sum it up:
Since my last relationship I'm living in the following vicious cycle:
?strong desire for real sex ? no real women in my life and fear of ED ? watching porn?
This cycle goes on for years now and I simply can't take it anymore. My wish would be that I'll lose my fear of sex by going to prostitutes (if absolutely necessary in combination with Viagra) and as a result of that, gaining more self-confidence to meet real women. Ideally, such an experience would also make it easier for me to quit porn for good and leave this aforementioned vicious cycle.
What do you think about that idea? Does it sound like a good plan? Has anybody of you experienced a similar situation? How did you defeat your ED?
Thank you very much for reading my story and I appreciate any advice!
I decided to post my story now as well and I'm very interested in your opinion and advice.
My story in a nutshell:
30 years old and addicted to porn since 14. Because of my addiction I've always been very inhibited and anxious when it comes to women. At 21 I finally had my first relationship/sex. My addiction became a little weaker, but still continued. Except for the beginning I rarely had ED problems ? fortunately my ex-GF was a very understanding woman. At 25, after we separated (not due to porn), I immediately became heavily addicted again and fell into a deep dark hole for a few years which I could only get out of with psychiatric help. With great difficulty I somehow managed to finish my studies and more or less get a grip on my life.
Now I'm stable, but my porn addiction is still here. The last 5 months I tried quitting this drug again, but to no success, even though at least the frequency and severity of relapses decreased. Sometimes I manage to be porn-free for 1-2 weeks.
My current main problem:
Since the end of my last relationship I can't satisfy my desire for real sex, because:
a) I have no idea how/where I should get to know real women
(I generally avoid parties/nightlife, because I'm also prone to alcohol addiction and consumption of alcohol always makes me binge hard on porn the day afterwards. I also don't use dating apps, because I'm afraid that I'm unattractive and can't compete with most other men and that any negative experiences with dating apps would drag me down and lead me back to porn even further)
b) I'm extremely afraid of sexual failure (= not getting an erection in bed)
(3 months ago I had the following drastic experience: after 5 years of complete abstinence from actual sex I met a woman by coincidence during a journey. We got along very well and eventually ended up in bed together. But sex didn't happen, because I couldn't manage to get an erection, no matter what she tried doing. The woman wasn't happy about that and I never heard from her again.)
This experience basically caused a downright sex phobia for me. It certainly is a mixture of desensitization due to years of porn + self-fulfilling prophecy. Since then I'm even more anxious and inhibited when it comes to women, because I'm afraid of sexual failure. I have the impression that most women simply have no understanding for ED and perceive a lack of erection as a personal insult. And I certainly can't tell a woman on a first date what my problem is. My ex-GF probably was an exception in this regard.
In order to solve my problems it is absolutely clear that I have to continue to try quitting porn for good. At the same time I was thinking about the following consideration:
Would it make sense to pay for the services of a prostitute in order to get rid of/diminish my fear and inhibitions of sex? After all, I can't lose anything (except for a few 100?), because those women wouldn't care about my ED problems as long as they get paid? So to speak, I would finally be able to ?practice? real sex after years of absence.
I also consulted with my general practitioner about my ED and he told me it sounds like psychological-induced ED and he would be willing to prescribe Viagra and said the problem would then be solved after a few attempts.
To sum it up:
Since my last relationship I'm living in the following vicious cycle:
?strong desire for real sex ? no real women in my life and fear of ED ? watching porn?
This cycle goes on for years now and I simply can't take it anymore. My wish would be that I'll lose my fear of sex by going to prostitutes (if absolutely necessary in combination with Viagra) and as a result of that, gaining more self-confidence to meet real women. Ideally, such an experience would also make it easier for me to quit porn for good and leave this aforementioned vicious cycle.
What do you think about that idea? Does it sound like a good plan? Has anybody of you experienced a similar situation? How did you defeat your ED?
Thank you very much for reading my story and I appreciate any advice!