Changing My Life Story

Hi. I?m new. This is the fifth day of my latest effort to stop looking at a Twitter site for Femdom porn. The difference this time is reading success stories here and other places on the Internet.

Hi. I don?t know if this is the correct way to update my journal. I don?t see a different method.

It is as if my mind is playing tricks with me. I keep thinking that looking at the porn is good for me. I get this very pleasant feeling associated with the porn site, as if it would be a very pleasant experience to return there.

Hi Danny.
I update mine by pressing "reply". There may be cleverer ways, but what you're doing appears to work. Good luck with your reboot and with your longer recovery. Have you done much reading on Yourbrainonporn.com? That site will have simple explanations for why your brain is playing tricks on you, the pleasant feelings, the desire to return and for part of your brain telling you that "P is good for you". That said, there are loads of sites that provide rational explanations for what's happening; others that approach it from a more spiritual perspective. It isn't going to be easy but coming here and participating could really help. Best wishes to you.

Hi thanks for the info. I?ll take a look at Your Brain On Porn.

Prodigal son said:

In the beginning its fun, a stress reliever and presumably hurts no one, right?  Wrong. Porn does "us" harm, bit by bit, leading to broken relationships, Erectile dysfunction for many, debt, unemployment, etc.

Click to expand...

That's as good a summary as I can remember reading, PS. Well said. It initially feels like our friend but ends up destroying our lives.

This is my ninth day of not looking at the Twitter account that I find addictive. I have felt different emotions like fear and sadness. Also, I have encountered a feeling that is connected to the porn. It grew stronger today. I was afraid that I would give in to that feeling and look at the porn, until I painted for awhile tonight. I enjoyed the painting. I connected with it.

Now, I don?t feel overwhelmed with a need to look at the Twitter account. I don?t want to give up how the act of painting made me feel. Also, I played the piano for a few minutes. It really helps getting involved in activities which are enjoyable.

I had to admit to myself that the only reason I rejoined Medium (a reading and writing article site) was because a few dommes write there. I would have used their material as a springboard back into the porn. So even though I struggled with much inner resistance, I deleted the app.

Hi Danny, Looks to me you made a good choice deleting the app. Piano and painting seem to me to be much better uses of your time and energy than Twitter/Porn. Keep going!

Thanks BigMog. A little support helps especially now. I was reading someone?s journal and some detail triggered me. I felt a need to view porn. I still feel it, but the need is not as strong. Whew....

Yesterday was a difficult day. My tablet served as a trigger causing an incredibly sad feeling because I was separated from the dominatrix Twitter account.

It was hard to fight so I reached out for help. I was told to keep busy which is what I am attempting to put into action.

The sad feeling has lessened, and I also decided not to use my tablet for awhile. I used it when relaxing and it included porn use.

This is the 22nd day that I have not looked at porn.  Before I found Reboot Nation, I could only stay away from the domme Twitter site for about four days.

I actually gave up all porn, not just the one Twitter account.

Now, I am dealing with psychological and sexual issues with a therapist. Much work, but it is worth it to finally move ahead.