BKM
Active Member
I'm 40. I was forty yesterday so I thought I best make a new journal as I am now so old. I'm also in the 30 39 section if anyone wants to read my crazy path of recovery.
In my time though my recovery I have discovered a few things about myself. I have an obsessive nature and at some point in my past, around 14 or 15, I started to obsess about sex, I had it at the top of my list. Due to my huge amount of self esteem and self image issues I thought sex and even love would never happen for me. So this obsession with the physical act of sex turned into an obsession and an addiction to pornography. This followed my life even though I found love and marriage. It was hard to realise and accept this was an addiction, after reading a lot and having an amazingly caring and loving wife to help me through this I now understand a lot more about myself. I am currently in 12 step SA program which is fantastic, he God aspect of the program is difficult for me as an agnostic. But there are other programs that are out there with no religious aspect which I will be looking into. But for now I'm just trying to continue to stay sober and improve my myself.
In my time though my recovery I have discovered a few things about myself. I have an obsessive nature and at some point in my past, around 14 or 15, I started to obsess about sex, I had it at the top of my list. Due to my huge amount of self esteem and self image issues I thought sex and even love would never happen for me. So this obsession with the physical act of sex turned into an obsession and an addiction to pornography. This followed my life even though I found love and marriage. It was hard to realise and accept this was an addiction, after reading a lot and having an amazingly caring and loving wife to help me through this I now understand a lot more about myself. I am currently in 12 step SA program which is fantastic, he God aspect of the program is difficult for me as an agnostic. But there are other programs that are out there with no religious aspect which I will be looking into. But for now I'm just trying to continue to stay sober and improve my myself.