Author Topic: My Journey to becoming better version of myself  (Read 382 times)

Mr. M

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My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« on: October 12, 2017, 07:43:19 AM »
My Journal......

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2017, 10:42:03 AM »
Day 1

At the moment,I am feeling Okay

I had few urges at around about 10am.

I didn't gave these urges too much attention so they went away

One big reason for not fapping is that my fetishes in porn have gone very weird and disgusting.The acts that used to disgust me a few weeks back,are now the ones to which i have started fapping.


Today i did some exercise.Once i get my own room i will start my handstand practice to master the handstand.

Porn and fapping in general has made me an introvert.So i want to quit it for good and move on and improve the quality of my life

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2017, 10:43:17 AM »
Day 1

At the moment,I am feeling Okay

I had few urges at around about 10am.

I didn't gave these urges too much attention so they went away

One big reason for not fapping is that my fetishes in porn have gone very weird and disgusting.The acts that used to disgust me a few weeks back,are now the ones to which i have started fapping.


Today i did some exercise.Once i get my own room i will start my handstand practice to master the handstand.

Porn and fapping in general has made me an introvert.So i want to quit it for good and move on and improve the quality of my life

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2017, 11:32:35 PM »
Day 2

Relapsed!Relapsed due to Boredom! watched a bit if porn in the morning due to boredom and thought that i could get away with watching it just a liitle bit.But No! i ended up watching porn during whole day and then fapped at night.Felt like a shit afterwards.It is a real Trap.Lesson learned peaking = Relapsed.So no more peaking.

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #4 on: October 14, 2017, 11:07:39 AM »
Day 1
Today i am feeling OK
I did not had any urges today.
I am leaving porn because this shit is disgusting.Girls are being raped and tortured and used as fuck objrcts in thia shit.Watching it means supporting and the more you watch the more you will Go deep into this shithole.My tastes are already becoming too extreme.No more Porn!

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2017, 09:16:25 AM »
Day 2

It was pretty decent day.

I had few urges today.Inface,for a moment i convinced myself that i should watch porn and fap because it wont hurt but then i realized that its my addiction that is talking to me and this one fap is what has been causing me social anxiety and Nervousness ehennunder a little pressure. So i stopped.

I am quitting PMo because i want to be calm and relaxed in pressure situations and also while socializing.

Today i did exercise in the morning.

Another day towards becoming best version of myself.

Message to myself:-
Always remember that failure is a choice and nobody forces you to fail.So keep making right choices and dont give any fucks.


Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #6 on: October 15, 2017, 09:13:06 PM »
Day 2

Relapsed.Relapsed After waking up at night after sleeping.Tried very hard not to fap.infact took a cold shower and did 20 pushups but still couldn't sleep.Ended up masturbating in the bathroom after getting naked.Still could not sleep so started watching porn and fapped once more in the morning.

Lessons learnt:-

1 Do not use internet at night.

2 Never ever get naked at night when i am alone.


Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #7 on: October 17, 2017, 05:55:27 AM »
Day 1
A good day.

No real urges

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #8 on: October 17, 2017, 10:03:53 AM »
Day 2

Today was an Ok day.
had few minor urges but not much.
Did Exercise today.
Slept during most of the day so was a bit lazy.

My eyes look like a dead zombie after PMo.thats one the reasons i wanna quit it.




Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #9 on: October 18, 2017, 08:47:58 PM »
Day 3
A good day

Had a few at afternoon.watched porn for few minutes but then realized wtf i was doing and stopped.

Was feeling tired from yesterday's exercise but did my handstand practice anyway.

Today i found that a big trigger for me is being alone and using internet aimlessly.these two things combine more than not cause me to relapse.so avoid these.
« Last Edit: October 18, 2017, 08:54:52 PM by Mr. M »

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2017, 08:58:05 AM »
Day 4
 A very bad day.

had urges and watched porn during morning and afternoon.Didn't fapped but porn during morning caused me to do a disgusting during evening.Not gonna do that shit thing ever again.


Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #11 on: October 19, 2017, 09:07:46 PM »
Day 4
Relapsed

pruthukkc

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #12 on: October 21, 2017, 07:52:58 AM »
Come on MR M. You can change your habit. When you got urges try to meditate or do some push  ups it helps so much, don't try to control your mind, try to focus on your breathing. Meditation is real medicine on porn, 1 week without pm is really tough but you have to strong reason to kick this addiction. You can do it man ! :)
When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #13 on: October 24, 2017, 12:01:53 PM »
Thanks.
Am currently on day 5 haven't peeked at all and have been doing exercise nearly every day.
Not gonna post in this journal because it doesn't help me at all

Stay blessed and enjoy your life

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #14 on: November 01, 2017, 06:49:15 AM »
Day 10

So far i have become More confident and socially active lerson.

Today i got complement from my sister that i have changed from introvert to extrovert

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #15 on: November 01, 2017, 06:57:01 AM »
Day 13

Today was a very boring and lazy.
Didn't went to university due to Some reasons.

Did RR in morning.

Stayed lazy during whole day and had very intense urges during afternoon.These urges didn't went away after 2 hours.So i was about to pmo then realized how toxic this shit is.So went to bathroom and took a cold shower.
Urges went away and felt like a beast.

Things i need to do.:-
1-Go to university daily
2-stick to a tight sleep schedule(10pm-6am)
3-Decrease time on TV and internet.
4-Do not give much fuck about things that don't matter in reallity.
5-Keep a nice beard.

Benefits that i have experinced so far:-

1 Socially active
2 Confidence pretty high
3 High motivation
4 Better and healthy skin
5 Smooth hairs
6 Hairs grow quickly (especially beard)
7 No Brain fog.
8 Becoming an extrovert.
9 People want to talk to me(eapecially strangers).

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #16 on: November 03, 2017, 07:05:07 AM »
Day 16

Having intense urges tonight.
mind wants to fap badly

Everything seems about sex.

These are probably withdrawl symptoms..

But i ain't fapping.Because this shit has caused me huge social anxiety and is the reason why i haven't been able to pursue goals.
Morever,This shit has caused me brain fog which prevents me from thinking straight and i become introvert.

« Last Edit: November 03, 2017, 11:08:05 PM by Mr. M »

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #17 on: November 04, 2017, 12:30:26 PM »
Nov 04

Tonight i was feeling extremely horny.So i took a very cold shower at 10pm in very cold weather and boom!The urges are gone.Geeling great.

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #18 on: November 09, 2017, 09:02:46 AM »
Nov 09

Had a wet dream on 08 Nov.Felt very tired the day after.But didn't felt socially the day afyer that day.

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #19 on: November 10, 2017, 12:27:00 PM »
DAY 22

Relapsed.

Feeling like complete shit and a failure.Porn Beat me again.
It Tricked me into thinking that It is good and watching it a bit ain't gonna hurt.But gotta Remember that whenever i Get the urge to open that site then i am very close to relapse so i should take a cold shower and Stop being lazy.

This Relapse was caused by two things.

1) I was Becoming very lazy during last few days.Wasn't taking cold showers,doing exercise fully etc. so i relapsed.
2) Peaking.
My Mind tricked me into thinking that watching porn with people urinating wasn't gonna hurt. But i have to remember that pee is urine and there is a reason it goes down the toilet.The reason is that it is human wastage and ugly stink.So doing anything with piss makes me Weak cuck.

Now I need not to relapse again.This gets easier after 10 days or so.

I have two simple goals for the rest of November.

1) Take cold shower daily because they help immensely to get rid of horniness and urges

2) Wake up earlyand Be productive

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #20 on: November 23, 2017, 10:32:21 AM »
Day 13

Today was a very good day.
The best way to reduce urges is to take cold shower daily.

 Proscination and being unproductive are two main causes of relapse.So i need to Stop proscinating and become as productive as possible.

I am following the recommend routine of bodyweightfitness subreddit and I am trying not to miss any workout.I am making pretty good progress.

My diet is shit.I don't eat junk but i drink too much tea.I need to stop drinking too much tea.

I have missed so many lectures due to cricket.So,Now i will play cricket only on off days because Studying is far more important than playing cricket.

I Binge watch Tv and binge surf internet when i am at home.Thus i need to find some productive habits to do during this time.

Do or die

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #21 on: November 27, 2017, 03:41:35 AM »
U r doing so good. I also drink so much of tea but now i am free from tea. Tea made u think emotionally and this is also a reason of my relapse.
Doing real reboot i.e: reboot without relapsing.from 30 nov 2017

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #22 on: December 08, 2017, 09:54:20 PM »
Day 28
At the moment i am laying in my bed and having intense urges.
My Mind is telling me to jerk off just one time to see how it feels.
But no i ain't jerking. I have done this too many times in the past and i know i will feel like a total shit afterwards & i don't wanna waste 28 days of progress for a few seconds of pleasure.

So now i will go out and do something else rather than laying in my bed and Be lazy.


Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #23 on: December 11, 2017, 10:39:17 AM »
U r doing so good. I also drink so much of tea but now i am free from tea. Tea made u think emotionally and this is also a reason of my relapse.

My whole diet depends on tea so it is nearly for me to quit it.

Mr. M

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Re: My Journey to becoming better version of myself
« Reply #24 on: Today at 07:43:40 AM »
Day 33

I am being pretty unproductive lately but thats mostly because of the flu that i have caught lately..Can't exercise and go out much due to this flu.
One thing that i need to realise is that health is wealth so from now on i will take full care of my health..

From this moment onwards i am gonna study my ass off because being lazy,watching TV and surfing internet aimlessly never does a shit.

A few benefits that i've experinced due to nofap are below:
1) very confident and don't feel pressurized in social situations at all
2) Don't Take little things on heart.

so at the end, i just want to say that i am nowhere near being recovered.During this streal i have watched p a few times.Therefore, I need to completely stop watching porn and any explicit material for that matters because whenever i watch any nsfw content a Pathway is created in my brain and when i get urges My brain automatically forces me to watch porn.
Therefore, quitting p and m cold turkey is the only way to recover from this shit.....