Author Topic: Committing to Reboot  (Read 3958 times)

blackdragonsdg

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Re: Committing to Reboot
« Reply #150 on: March 20, 2017, 07:09:43 PM »
Congratz on your 90 day milestone.

gazz

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Re: Committing to Reboot
« Reply #151 on: March 28, 2017, 08:35:18 AM »
cheers mate!

Things are going well, I'm not counting clean days, and not getting urges – which is almost scary, as I’ve related my self to seeing almost everything in life sexually for my entire adult life. I learned that PMO is an addiction, there is nothing pleasurable about addition, addictions have to be dropped, there’s no haggling with something you have no control over. I’ve been reading the YBOP website (quite hard to read as there are so many links in each article to other articles!). Stuff I kinda knew, but it blows the mind – P causes brain changes. BRAIN CHANGES! by watching porn we are creating another, shittier version of ourselves.

Anyway, I wanted to write a journal post cos I was decluttering old diaries – have about 10 years worth in a drawer. Goodness. 10 years of PA entries. the same shit, almost every day for 10 years! ‘I’m so depressed! I’ve been P binging! I have to get myself together. I’ve had 2 good days... damn, I relapsed!  I’m so depressed!........’

I had no idea things were so bad for so long and I just wish I could go back and help this guy out who’s been suffering for so long.

The last ‘urge’ I had recently was a little voice saying, ‘No one's around! why don't we do that little pleasure trip? It’s no big deal’. It’s amazing to think this ‘no big deal’ voice has caused us so much suffering for so long. I’m about to throw all the diaries out, feels like a nice way to start this new happy lifestyle I’ve acquired.

Web100

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Re: Committing to Reboot
« Reply #152 on: March 28, 2017, 03:55:15 PM »

"by watching porn we are creating another, shittier version of ourselves" well said!! no truer word spoken . That's the truth of this whole thing in a nut shell.

Congrats on your progress, obviously you struggled for a long time before eventually having this success. Great to see!!

gazz

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Re: Committing to Reboot
« Reply #153 on: March 29, 2017, 06:21:41 AM »
Thanks mate! I'm glad to see your counter suggests you're doing better than you sounded on your last journal entry.

What were your thoughts on The hackbook? It was a big influence for me- I wish I could turn more people onto it but I don't want to sing about 'The Answer' to PA. Of course, it's not 'The Answer', we can always choose to go back if we choose to; battling against our own brain is a tricky business! Of course it's not perfect - you can sense the writer is experimenting with the idea. Nicotine leaves the body in a few days, and withdrawals from P induced dopamine hits are a little different. I actually went on to read the original 'Allen Carr - quit smoking' and it seemed to work perfectly - so relevant to porn addiction. nicotine is an addictive poison that does nothing for us, just as porn is a poison for the brain that destroys our lives.
« Last Edit: March 29, 2017, 07:38:13 AM by gazz »

Web100

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Re: Committing to Reboot
« Reply #154 on: March 29, 2017, 04:58:39 PM »

I thought the book was a very interesting read. I loved that it wasn't the typical scare factor of deltafos b on the brain etc.. more like the reason we PMO is to relieve the pangs of the previous session. It really made a lot of sense.

My favourite part was the cold sore analogy. Where you keep using the cream to try to heal the cold sore and the cold sore just keeps grow all over your face. So one day you find out that the cause of the cold sore is actually the cream you are using. all you need to to do to heal yourself from this horrific situation is stop using the cream. If you stop using the cream, in a relatively short period of time you will be healed for the rest of your life. You'd stop using the cream right?

That's the reality for us too.
All we need to do to cure ourselves from this lifelong disease is stop using p

I know what you mean about not wanting to sing about "the answer " to PA.. I think we all know there's no magic bullet,  but I would also highly recommend anyone here to read it

gazz

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Re: Committing to Reboot
« Reply #155 on: April 16, 2017, 04:13:49 PM »
I've been a going a good long time without PMOing. I don't count the days anymore. Maybe it's +90 days. After a lot of work and reading, the final piece of the puzzle was the hackbook (http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=11997.0) based on Allen Carr’s popular quit smoking method. A big part of that is realise PMO is simply brain-poison and to vow you won't PMO again. When you get weak and think, 'maybe I could,' that creates a tug of war in your brain, then urges begin... then it's hell trying not to PMO, or it's the hell of PMO'ing. So it's been weeks of feeling eerily fine. I've not been on the forum much, and I don't think about PMOing or sex or nofap much. I'm able to think about other things, but I know it's all there in the dark recesses of my mind, so I stay focused on life, healthy habits, love and work (knowing the longer the distance between me and PMO, the more my brain rewires). Just read these two lines from another thread and they fit me perfectly:

The reboot and nofap kind of liberated me from this oversized, omnipresent monster which controlled my mind for so long.

After 3 months I stopped my journal and I stopped counting days and stuff. I started to focus on life instead on the reboot. It helped me to normalize the reboot.


Anyway, problem is, the wife is going away for a couple of days and leaving me home alone. I work at home which means I only work if I choose to. The stupid thought entered my mind - you could relapse. Just letting that thought back in starts the tug of war and suddenly I feel sick and nervous. I managed to talk back to that tempted voice - relapsing means all that bad shit that goes with unzipping your fly and going into a pixel trance. just wanted to get back on the forum for these difficult days coming up. healthy habits! healthy life! a life free from being a wanker!

David Albert

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Re: Committing to Reboot
« Reply #156 on: April 17, 2017, 07:01:57 AM »
Hey there, I think you have captured the essence of all this process so well, I admire you  :)

I, myself, am in a similar place to yours and I hope we continue on this road of living our lives in a healthy manner and not feel like we are in recovery forever. Being able to get out of recovery is just as important, if not more important, than the recovery itself.

Great work, keep it up !  :D

P.S. so much power and wake up call in this sentence : "a life free from being a wanker!"
« Last Edit: April 17, 2017, 07:03:36 AM by David Albert »
"Learn to hate porn. You will never destroy an enemy you embrace."

gazz

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Re: Committing to Reboot
« Reply #157 on: April 20, 2017, 12:12:14 AM »
Cheers David! That means a lot coming from someone with such an inspiring thread. I got through the time alone will ample opportunity and that feels great.


Grass has grown over the addictive pathways and though I was worried, the thought of P didn’t even do much for me. I guess I've rewired the brain and the brain it accepts the truth now that P is poison. I won’t get complacent – this is the trickiest enemy. But damn i'm happy about this progress.

blackdragonsdg

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Re: Committing to Reboot
« Reply #158 on: April 22, 2017, 10:29:06 AM »
After 3 months I stopped my journal and I stopped counting days and stuff. I started to focus on life instead on the reboot. It helped me to normalize the reboot.

That just makes so much sense. Normalizing the reboot by just living life. That is truly inspirational. Thanks for posting that Gazz.