bonerrific
Member
Look at my counter. It's so pathetic! I've been trying to do no pmo for over two years and I never get anywhere! The most I've ever gone is just 7 days and I've only attained that feat like three times.
I really don't know how I can get the goddamn willpower to do this! And I have to do it because otherwise I'll never be able to have sex irl. I've failed with three girls so far! I don't get a boner when I grind with girls in a club or kiss them. I don't even get a boner in a strip club.
I just don't know how to do this!! Right now I can tell you, "Oh yes, I will never ever do this again, I know I won't!" but NO MATTER WHAT when I get the urge there is just nothing there to stop me from doing it. The problem is it's so goddamn simple to do it. It's not like with heroin where I'd have to at least score some dope and pay money in some seedy alleyway or some shit. The porn is right there in front of me and just too easy to access it. I've tried so many things like porn blockers etc but it makes no difference: when I want to fap I will fap. I've recently made an MS Word document to read describing the low feelings of how I feel after the fap and I actually read it last time before the fap but still; I WILL ALWAYS FAP! Right now as we speak my ISP has blocked off all pornography to this internet connection at my request but it doesn't matter because I just ended up getting a proxy anyway so it ends up being utterly useless. The worst thing is I discovered an unbelievably amazing porn site about six months back that gives you copious amounts of free, high quality HD streaming porn that you only get from pay-sites with new videos uploaded every day. There's a ridiculous amount of variety there, too. For instance I recently discovered latex turns me on. As far as porn goes, it's so damn good and I can NEVER resist it. I won't tell you guys what it is because I don't want to stifle you. That website by itself makes this test a million times harder for me.
Now long ago I was at least making it to day 3 on average but lately I've gone back to failing pretty much every day. I just really don't know what to do. I can say and read anything at this stage and how it's going to 'be different this time' but whenever crunch time comes I succumb and fail. How oh HOW do I get the willpower to beat this? I'm so utterly pathetic.
I really don't know how I can get the goddamn willpower to do this! And I have to do it because otherwise I'll never be able to have sex irl. I've failed with three girls so far! I don't get a boner when I grind with girls in a club or kiss them. I don't even get a boner in a strip club.
I just don't know how to do this!! Right now I can tell you, "Oh yes, I will never ever do this again, I know I won't!" but NO MATTER WHAT when I get the urge there is just nothing there to stop me from doing it. The problem is it's so goddamn simple to do it. It's not like with heroin where I'd have to at least score some dope and pay money in some seedy alleyway or some shit. The porn is right there in front of me and just too easy to access it. I've tried so many things like porn blockers etc but it makes no difference: when I want to fap I will fap. I've recently made an MS Word document to read describing the low feelings of how I feel after the fap and I actually read it last time before the fap but still; I WILL ALWAYS FAP! Right now as we speak my ISP has blocked off all pornography to this internet connection at my request but it doesn't matter because I just ended up getting a proxy anyway so it ends up being utterly useless. The worst thing is I discovered an unbelievably amazing porn site about six months back that gives you copious amounts of free, high quality HD streaming porn that you only get from pay-sites with new videos uploaded every day. There's a ridiculous amount of variety there, too. For instance I recently discovered latex turns me on. As far as porn goes, it's so damn good and I can NEVER resist it. I won't tell you guys what it is because I don't want to stifle you. That website by itself makes this test a million times harder for me.
Now long ago I was at least making it to day 3 on average but lately I've gone back to failing pretty much every day. I just really don't know what to do. I can say and read anything at this stage and how it's going to 'be different this time' but whenever crunch time comes I succumb and fail. How oh HOW do I get the willpower to beat this? I'm so utterly pathetic.