ntg2978
Active Member
Well, my computer's monitor recently stopped working, so I was not able to get online here for a while. Also, my business has been going very slowly, not making enough, so I'm having to start a job and work on my own PT. I'm definitely not giving up on my dream though, and staying strong. I hope all of you are doing well and staying strong. Won't be able to devote as much time to this website as in the past as I won't be working from home any longer for a little while. I'm still going strong with no PMO, and feeling really good. Porn does not even tempt me anymore at this point. I get cravings now (I'm at day 50), but not for porn, just for sexual intimacy, which I think is healthy. I cannot always act on these desires, so I still workout or read or something until I am in a place where I can.
For those of you starting out, I'd like to offer a few tips that have helped me get this far:
1. Focus on your life and your goals, not on how long it's been since you PMO'd last. Let porn become something that's in your rearview mirror of life.
2. When you're tempted to look at porn, read about the real-life porn stars who tell about their experiences when not behind the camera, at http://www.thepinkcross.org - it really has a way of dehumanizing the whole industry and leaves you with this sick feeling about porn, which is a good thing, because it really is sick - that is reality.
3. Get involved in helping others on this site, especially when you're first starting out. I've seen a lot of blogs on here, where not many people post to them, because the people who post them don't post on others' blogs. Reach out to others first, and they will reach out to you as well. Get that feeling of brotherhood or sisterhood from this website and others like it.
4. Focus on meeting people in real life; go out and date, or if you don't feel comfortable doing that, then learn how to approach women. Oftentimes, men use porn as a way of ignoring the fact that they don't feel comfortable approaching and talking with women (I"ve done this in the past as well). Instead, be real with yourself and learn what you need to know in order to deal with your ignorances and fix yourself, instead of ignoring your limits.
5. Don't use other things besides porn in order to stay away from porn; don't use video games, movies, etc. because it will just keep giving your bran a dopamine fix, and will keep you in that phase where you'll keep feeling withdrawls. Best way is to stop doing all the fake stuff, realizing that it is just that, fake, and that you must surround yourself with reality if you are to get well. Face life, face your fears, feel the feelings you are trying to ignore and pretend do not exist, and you will no longer be subject to them.
Lastly, I have posted this URL I don't know how many times, but it really is one of the best eye-openers and pieces of advice out there, I believe, so check out this post by Underdog:
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0
I will keep coming back here and posting when I can. Everyone stay strong and keep fighting for what you want in life!
Nate
For those of you starting out, I'd like to offer a few tips that have helped me get this far:
1. Focus on your life and your goals, not on how long it's been since you PMO'd last. Let porn become something that's in your rearview mirror of life.
2. When you're tempted to look at porn, read about the real-life porn stars who tell about their experiences when not behind the camera, at http://www.thepinkcross.org - it really has a way of dehumanizing the whole industry and leaves you with this sick feeling about porn, which is a good thing, because it really is sick - that is reality.
3. Get involved in helping others on this site, especially when you're first starting out. I've seen a lot of blogs on here, where not many people post to them, because the people who post them don't post on others' blogs. Reach out to others first, and they will reach out to you as well. Get that feeling of brotherhood or sisterhood from this website and others like it.
4. Focus on meeting people in real life; go out and date, or if you don't feel comfortable doing that, then learn how to approach women. Oftentimes, men use porn as a way of ignoring the fact that they don't feel comfortable approaching and talking with women (I"ve done this in the past as well). Instead, be real with yourself and learn what you need to know in order to deal with your ignorances and fix yourself, instead of ignoring your limits.
5. Don't use other things besides porn in order to stay away from porn; don't use video games, movies, etc. because it will just keep giving your bran a dopamine fix, and will keep you in that phase where you'll keep feeling withdrawls. Best way is to stop doing all the fake stuff, realizing that it is just that, fake, and that you must surround yourself with reality if you are to get well. Face life, face your fears, feel the feelings you are trying to ignore and pretend do not exist, and you will no longer be subject to them.
Lastly, I have posted this URL I don't know how many times, but it really is one of the best eye-openers and pieces of advice out there, I believe, so check out this post by Underdog:
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0
I will keep coming back here and posting when I can. Everyone stay strong and keep fighting for what you want in life!
Nate
Just some things I have learned on my journey thus far.
