Letsdothis123
New Member
Hi. I am so moved to see all these posts here and to read about and find out that watching porn is really a big issue for many people. Just this is a big insight for me.
I have used porn since I was 14-15 perhaps. And during the years , I am now 38, I have watched more or less every week multiple times. In all relationships I previous had and in the current this had always been around. It's hard for me to say how much the relationship (current) is bad due to porn but I think it's a big factor.
It's a practically good relationship with one child and most things works good but there is no intimacy what so ever. And I have realised I cannot live like that anymore. I have taken some "bad" decisions and/or tried other roads without communicating with my partner last year. That is in the past and I want to make a try to see if there is something still to be fought for.
I am going to therapy and I know a big part of "fixing" my relationship is to start communicating again.
Other than that I have found a new community of people that inspire me and makes me happy and part of that yoga community I started with tantra yoga as well. I have never had so many happy and conscious moments as I did this year. I have been doing meditation and yoga for some time now so i think that is one reason to my progress I certain areas.
Even though a part of me entered this tantra world because of sex stuff I realize now that there is something so much more beautiful to get between people that I really never felt before (something like intimacy). So I will continue with this since this is real life and not some screen showing pictures and the difference in feelings and experiences is monumental.
I have had some good experiences without porn last couple of months and compared to earlier I have not watched as much. But slowly the last month or so I have begun to watch more again and it affects me both physical and financially.
So my goal here is to stop watching porn. Perhaps for always but at least for the next four weeks.
Did I use porn today: yes.
What were my triggers: boredom, anxiety
How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? watching and masturbated.
What am I grateful for today? To have found this community.
Day counter:0
I have chills all over my body and tears in my eyes writing this so I guess I am in the right track here. Hopefully I will have the strength to continue to write.
Thanks to all other people our there for being so open with your obstacles and inspiring me to do this.
I have used porn since I was 14-15 perhaps. And during the years , I am now 38, I have watched more or less every week multiple times. In all relationships I previous had and in the current this had always been around. It's hard for me to say how much the relationship (current) is bad due to porn but I think it's a big factor.
It's a practically good relationship with one child and most things works good but there is no intimacy what so ever. And I have realised I cannot live like that anymore. I have taken some "bad" decisions and/or tried other roads without communicating with my partner last year. That is in the past and I want to make a try to see if there is something still to be fought for.
I am going to therapy and I know a big part of "fixing" my relationship is to start communicating again.
Other than that I have found a new community of people that inspire me and makes me happy and part of that yoga community I started with tantra yoga as well. I have never had so many happy and conscious moments as I did this year. I have been doing meditation and yoga for some time now so i think that is one reason to my progress I certain areas.
Even though a part of me entered this tantra world because of sex stuff I realize now that there is something so much more beautiful to get between people that I really never felt before (something like intimacy). So I will continue with this since this is real life and not some screen showing pictures and the difference in feelings and experiences is monumental.
I have had some good experiences without porn last couple of months and compared to earlier I have not watched as much. But slowly the last month or so I have begun to watch more again and it affects me both physical and financially.
So my goal here is to stop watching porn. Perhaps for always but at least for the next four weeks.
Did I use porn today: yes.
What were my triggers: boredom, anxiety
How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? watching and masturbated.
What am I grateful for today? To have found this community.
Day counter:0
I have chills all over my body and tears in my eyes writing this so I guess I am in the right track here. Hopefully I will have the strength to continue to write.
Thanks to all other people our there for being so open with your obstacles and inspiring me to do this.
).