I guess every form of refuge has its price

J

J01

Guest
 
  Two weeks or so into the forum now-came here by the "must read" Your Brain on Porn.

    50 years plus old, never a daily user but more of the sporadic use while looking for relief from work stress.  Although I never did web cams, escorts, strip clubs etc the plain old vanilla stuff was more than sufficient to push me into discouragement, shame, and defeat. 

    At first I just focused on stress reduction, but, in this life, that is a losing battle.  Stress is going to come no matter what we do; the key is properly handling the stress.  We all know one way that doesn't work, the reason we are here.  I have recently seen the great power that encouragement can bring, and that is why this forum is so helpful to us.

    As a practical matter, I have found having an accountability partner to be a big help.  it doesn't have to be some 2 hour meet-up at Denny's; just a simple weekly report or staying in touch is helpful.  However, beware-I have previously lied to my AP, and it is no guarantee to help you if you don't use honesty and commitment. 

    No more heading to the cheating side of town.  You can't hide your Lyin' Eyes.

    Best wishes to all the fighters and warriors out there.  If you have recently stumbled, get back up.  if you are doing strong and great-keep on keeping on. It is an honor to be in your midst. 
     

 
J

J01

Guest
Day 25 clean

Was able to handle a couple of bad stress days from work.  This battle is so worth it in so many ways.  Stay strong everybody!

If you have recently stumbled, get back up today-now!   
 

BigMog

Active Member
Good work Jixu. Being able to cope with with those stressful days in other ways than PMO is a good victory. Keep at it!
 
J

J01

Guest
BigMog, you are so right about stress!  Thanks for the encouragement !
 

workinprogressUK

Well-Known Member
25 days and counting. That's great progress. Reads like you have your foundations set up really well. Good luck and stay strong. You can do it.
 
J

J01

Guest
Thanks for the encouragement WIP, Pete, and Cranm.  Keep going strong you guys! 
 
J

J01

Guest
Day 35 clean

Doing pretty decent most of the time but am battling an old enemy of mine-procrastination.  I am good at tackling the big stuff but tend to let a bunch of little things pile up and then I can get discouraged by it.  Need to hit the ground running in the morning instead of dallying around.  In other words, some of the personal and employment stress I encounter is self-induced!  How dumb is that ? Anyway, the over-all fight is progressing ok and the battle is worth it !       
 

Pete McVries

Active Member
Nice to hear, you're staying strong. Remember, don't try to tackle all problems at once. Small steps and build from there! Take care!
 
J

J01

Guest
Day 50 clean

Spending some time re-watching the "Your brain on porn" video that is so conveniently linked on the home page.  Good to keep in mind all facets of this battle.     
 
J

J01

Guest
75 Day Clean

Attended a couple of wonderful social functions last week.  Prior to attending the functions I kind of dreaded it but they turned out to be great. It is nice to be clean and clear and it seems likes it makes the interactions a lot less stressful and much more meaningful.  It also reinforced the notion that it is good to break the daily routine and shake things up a bit once in awhile.  It is easy to get trapped into thinking that nothing exists except work or study or whatever the daily toil involves.   

BigMog, thanks for your post and the encouragement that you give to us here on this forum.

Keep fighting warriors!

 
 

idunno

Member
I've been finding socializing more rewarding, too. Less stressful, less worried that I'm going to let something slip. Also, fewer porn-related intrusions in the back of my own mind during conversations, etc. Easier to focus, to laugh. Your post reminded me of that.
 
J

J01

Guest
Yikes, 85 days or so clean and the last two days have been the hardest for urges! Today I caught myself deceiving myself trying to prepare to pre-peek some peeking, if you know what I mean.  Thought I would come on here and type it out of the system.  Feel better already!  What tricky brains we have.

Thanks idunno for your comments and good example! I think social expansion and interaction are big-time necessary in this journey! 
 
J

J01

Guest
Thanks for the encouragement BigMog !  It is crazy the way the urges can seemingly come out of nowhere fast.
 
Good luck brother. Keep going. I've just passed 100 days. Urges are ok for me, just trying to repair myself physically is the issue.
 
J

J01

Guest
  90 Day Clean    ......but this post is not about me.....

The forum is littered with jaded journals and dead threads all over the place, and I think I know part of the reason for this-people are too embarrassed to come back after lapsing, people are too afraid they are letting other people down if they admit a stumble after having seemingly figured the whole thing out. 

To anyone who started fine and crashed a bit, I would like to say first of all, join the club-you are not the first and wont be the last. Second, you need to get back and start again.  In doing so, you owe no explanation to anyone (if you want to provide one, then fine-but you don't owe it to anyone).  I've seen guys come back from being gone many months with entries like "Day 1, feeling good, worked out today" etc. with no comment on the absence and so forth; that is great in my opinion.  You owe no explanation but you owe it to yourself to get back.  It shows courage and will inspire others. 

I am doing great right now but who knows what I'll be 30 days from now?  We have to support each other and be real people.  Ok everybody, let's get back to work!!     

 
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