Firstly my name is Peter, Im 29 years old.
I started masturbating at age 14 over real girls and some pictures on the internet.
This was going on for about 5-6 years.
I was also having sex during that period.
Then when I was 20 or so, I discovered high speed internet.
I was immediately hooked on this. I was watching girl on girl porn and and centerfolds of older women.
I never escalated beyond that in terms of genres. I never watched genres I was not interested in, in real life.
I was immediately discovering that all this pornography was giving me intense pleasure and mind blowing orgasms.
I used to ask myself, why is the rush Im feeling so much higher compared to a real girl? But i could never connect the dots of course.
I was masturbating anywhere between 1-6 times per day for years.
I noticed after a year or two my erections were becoming softer, I felt more lethargic, real women didnt turn me on as easily and i started losing intimacy. I also developed bad concentration problems, dim vision, slow response times to pain, very stiff neck and shoulders, and had trouble focusing and just generally feeling off balanced. It was also very strange, as when I would like quickly in another direction, it felt as if my brain is playing catch up to determine what i am looking at. I also developed a little numbness behind my ears.
This kept going on an eventually I became withdrawn, anti social, depressed and I developed full blown ED. I was at the point where even porn was struggling to get me hard some nights and there were times I would ejaculate while not being 100% stiff. My ejaculations were also getting much weaker, the sensation was just so numb.
There were occasions I was with girls and about to have sex and I was not getting turned on at all.
I was completely limp. I always blamed it on the woman believing she was not attractive enough.
However none of this caught my attention that something may be wrong.
I was very concerned about myself with all these symptoms I was experiencing though.
I went to the doctor and had the following tests:
MRI of the brain and neck, CT scan of the spine, ultrasounds of major organs, Various blood tests, Ear specialist, Eye specialist, ECG monitor, Sugar test, Urine check, Hormone check.
The results: everything was 100% normal. I couldn't believe it. Even my eyes and slow brain reactions and dim vision symptoms, everything was healthy.
Then after a while I accidentally came across Gary Wilson's Ted talk which was interesting and it lead me to yourbrainonporn.com
I read the info on the site, and for the first time everything started to make sense.
I finally began to understand why I was feeling this way and just so numbed out all the time.
I also concluded that these symptoms I am experiencing are all brain related and my brain is just so worn out that its sacrificing/slowing down its other functions to cope with my addiction. It is also possible that the nerves in the body could numb themselves for protection which may explain why there is a little numbness behind my ears. I am only speculating.
Anyway, I immediately made the decision to quit using porn. I quit on February 20th this year.
The first two weeks I was on 60% numb erections with intense cravings for porn, and then by the third week I hit a flat line, and my penis went completely dead, it shrunk and shriveled and became cold. Completely lifeless. Nothing could stimulate it.
It was like that for three weeks.
Then I started noticing it was becoming more sensitive again and it had grown a little, and I decided to masturbate without porn. Just using a real life fantasy.
The orgasm I had was quite strong but I could not get hard to touch alone. I tried getting hard to touch alone. There was a little reaction from my body but not much.
Periodically throughout my reboot, I would masturbate about once or twice a week or so to check things. There are improvements, but no complete healing as of yet.
Its been almost 6 months of no porn and I am not healed yet or have a healthy libido. I have noticed though that when I have a fantasy about a girl I find attractive the rush I get is a lot more wholesome and real. Like a taste of whats to come when I'm recovered and that the rush I felt will also radiate down to my penis and spring him to life.
The forums are correct. If you have PIED you need to eliminate porn and orgasm for a period of time to completely recover. I am one of those cases.
After all my experiences of trying to recover, I have the mindset now, to quit masturbation also.
It has been one month now of no masturbation. My cravings for porn disappeared months ago.
My Libido has improved but my penis still needs to become more active.
The other symptoms I have mentioned seems to be slightly improving also.
My mood is getting better, and my motivation to do things is feeling more upbeat.
Thanks for reading this long post.
If you have any questions, you know what to do,
Be happy to help or share experiences.
Cheers
I started masturbating at age 14 over real girls and some pictures on the internet.
This was going on for about 5-6 years.
I was also having sex during that period.
Then when I was 20 or so, I discovered high speed internet.
I was immediately hooked on this. I was watching girl on girl porn and and centerfolds of older women.
I never escalated beyond that in terms of genres. I never watched genres I was not interested in, in real life.
I was immediately discovering that all this pornography was giving me intense pleasure and mind blowing orgasms.
I used to ask myself, why is the rush Im feeling so much higher compared to a real girl? But i could never connect the dots of course.
I was masturbating anywhere between 1-6 times per day for years.
I noticed after a year or two my erections were becoming softer, I felt more lethargic, real women didnt turn me on as easily and i started losing intimacy. I also developed bad concentration problems, dim vision, slow response times to pain, very stiff neck and shoulders, and had trouble focusing and just generally feeling off balanced. It was also very strange, as when I would like quickly in another direction, it felt as if my brain is playing catch up to determine what i am looking at. I also developed a little numbness behind my ears.
This kept going on an eventually I became withdrawn, anti social, depressed and I developed full blown ED. I was at the point where even porn was struggling to get me hard some nights and there were times I would ejaculate while not being 100% stiff. My ejaculations were also getting much weaker, the sensation was just so numb.
There were occasions I was with girls and about to have sex and I was not getting turned on at all.
I was completely limp. I always blamed it on the woman believing she was not attractive enough.
However none of this caught my attention that something may be wrong.
I was very concerned about myself with all these symptoms I was experiencing though.
I went to the doctor and had the following tests:
MRI of the brain and neck, CT scan of the spine, ultrasounds of major organs, Various blood tests, Ear specialist, Eye specialist, ECG monitor, Sugar test, Urine check, Hormone check.
The results: everything was 100% normal. I couldn't believe it. Even my eyes and slow brain reactions and dim vision symptoms, everything was healthy.
Then after a while I accidentally came across Gary Wilson's Ted talk which was interesting and it lead me to yourbrainonporn.com
I read the info on the site, and for the first time everything started to make sense.
I finally began to understand why I was feeling this way and just so numbed out all the time.
I also concluded that these symptoms I am experiencing are all brain related and my brain is just so worn out that its sacrificing/slowing down its other functions to cope with my addiction. It is also possible that the nerves in the body could numb themselves for protection which may explain why there is a little numbness behind my ears. I am only speculating.
Anyway, I immediately made the decision to quit using porn. I quit on February 20th this year.
The first two weeks I was on 60% numb erections with intense cravings for porn, and then by the third week I hit a flat line, and my penis went completely dead, it shrunk and shriveled and became cold. Completely lifeless. Nothing could stimulate it.
It was like that for three weeks.
Then I started noticing it was becoming more sensitive again and it had grown a little, and I decided to masturbate without porn. Just using a real life fantasy.
The orgasm I had was quite strong but I could not get hard to touch alone. I tried getting hard to touch alone. There was a little reaction from my body but not much.
Periodically throughout my reboot, I would masturbate about once or twice a week or so to check things. There are improvements, but no complete healing as of yet.
Its been almost 6 months of no porn and I am not healed yet or have a healthy libido. I have noticed though that when I have a fantasy about a girl I find attractive the rush I get is a lot more wholesome and real. Like a taste of whats to come when I'm recovered and that the rush I felt will also radiate down to my penis and spring him to life.
The forums are correct. If you have PIED you need to eliminate porn and orgasm for a period of time to completely recover. I am one of those cases.
After all my experiences of trying to recover, I have the mindset now, to quit masturbation also.
It has been one month now of no masturbation. My cravings for porn disappeared months ago.
My Libido has improved but my penis still needs to become more active.
The other symptoms I have mentioned seems to be slightly improving also.
My mood is getting better, and my motivation to do things is feeling more upbeat.
Thanks for reading this long post.
If you have any questions, you know what to do,
Be happy to help or share experiences.
Cheers