Healthy masturbation techniques

As many of you probably saw awhile back, I posted a topic about masturbation. I had been on a 9 month reboot and finally decided to choke the chicken. Everything is great. I'm still getting morning wood, my libido is stronger, I feel more relaxed, getting better sleep, etc. No matter what religious people will tell you, masturbation is natural, healthy and completely normal. Not only does it help prevent premature ejaculation, but it has a whole host of health benefits. It allows us to understand what turns us on which, in turn, enhances our sexual experience with a partner. However, the key is that you use masturbation in a way that won't hurt you. Like everything in life that gives us pleasure, you HAVE to practice balance and discipline. Here is my personal list of healthy masturbation techniques:

1.) Stay away from Internet porn! This one is the most obvious for guys who understand pornography addiction and sexual conditioning. I think it's probably best for most of us here to not use the Internet for sexual arousal of any kind.

2.) Use first person imagination. By this, I mean that you should be the star of your fantasy; put yourself in the driver seat. Think about a woman that you find attractive and try to think about all the things you would want to do to them and all of the things you would want them to do to you. Really get creative. One of the problems with watching others have sex is the voyeurism of it, which caters our arousal to us on a silver platter. It eliminates the intimacy of sexual arousal and makes it very impersonal. If you can't get off this way, you should probably continue with your reboot...

3.) Exercise moderation and control. Obviously you shouldn't get carried away and go jerking off six times a day if you've had PIED in the past. Control yourself. I've heard that guys should masturbate 5+ times per week, but I'd say doing 1-2 MO's per day is plenty of release. Choose a time during the day where you'll have time to let your imagination run wild and you can practice holding off on orgasm to help you last longer in bed. Don't just rub one out in 10 seconds flat.

4.) Monitor your morning wood. This is just an added precaution for you guys. You should be getting morning wood regularly as a healthy young man. This is a key variable to maintaining a healthy sex drive. A lot of guys don't realize this but there are two kinds of erectile dysfunction: psychological and physiological. Porn-induced ED is a physical change in the brain. So, if you're still experiencing MW, but you have trouble in the bedroom, chances are that there is nothing physically wrong with you and you're suffering from depression or performance anxiety.

Hope this helps!
C.C.

I like your post and I have a couple of questions about it.
1. When do you consider a rebooter to be safe to M without P? In terms of reinforcing porn addiction or making urges to PMO more intense.
2. I am two weeks into my reboot, and I had my first real urge to M to P today. Although I could probably get off by M without P, I don't think that right now it is a good idea in the slightest. Would you say that it wouldn't affect me much if I did?

Thanks for your post. I have set the obvious guideline of no PMO for my reboot, but I don't know how I should set my guidelines for M without P. Should it be saved as a last resort option before PMO? Or is it only an option when the reboot is complete? I do have to say that I have tried to quit many times in the past and have failed miserably. My longest clean streak lasted about 3 months, but I think with the help and input of everyone on this website it will be a game-changer for me. I'm really optimistic and excited at the moment.

I agree with some of this but I don't agree with #2.  I don't think fantasy helps you in real world sexual situations.  I feel it is still artificial stimulation and you will come to rely on fantasy during actual sex.  I know this because it has happened to me.  Masturbation to sensation alone is the best way to do it if you want to be present during sex.

While with a sexually available partner masturbation shouldn't be needed at all.

pornisbad said:

I like your post and I have a couple of questions about it.
1. When do you consider a rebooter to be safe to M without P? In terms of reinforcing porn addiction or making urges to PMO more intense.
2. I am two weeks into my reboot, and I had my first real urge to M to P today. Although I could probably get off by M without P, I don't think that right now it is a good idea in the slightest. Would you say that it wouldn't affect me much if I did?

Thanks for your post. I have set the obvious guideline of no PMO for my reboot, but I don't know how I should set my guidelines for M without P. Should it be saved as a last resort option before PMO? Or is it only an option when the reboot is complete? I do have to say that I have tried to quit many times in the past and have failed miserably. My longest clean streak lasted about 3 months, but I think with the help and input of everyone on this website it will be a game-changer for me. I'm really optimistic and excited at the moment.

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Lol! Nice username!

1. I would say that you are safe to masturbate when you can get an erection and finish the job without looking or thinking about porn. You've probably heard this a billion times before but everybody is different and there is no way to tell you how long your reboot will take. As I said, try to use imagination and if you find it hard to get off without think about porn (meaning that you go limp or it takes too long) then you definitely need some more time. As far as preventing PMO urges, that's just something that will go away with time and will power.

2. Masturbating at this point in your reboot is probably not the best idea. You are only 2 weeks in and I would recommend at least waiting 2-3 months before you try masturbating. You see, even though masturbation is healthy and good for your sex life and penis, the problem is that porn has desensitized you and you need to take a break from all sexual stimulation to let things get back to normal. It probably would affect you, but maybe you could try stroking yourself to see if you can get hard to the sensation of your hand alone. That is the best test to see where you stand.

I would say keep up with your reboot and, every once in a while, test your sexual response without using any fantasy. Once you feel like everything is back to normal, you can start introducing fantasy. Bibbity raised a counterargument over whether fantasy is okay or not, but my opinion is that it is just fine, but it takes some discipline and practice. Think about it bro...human males have been fantasizing during masturbation since the beginning of time. Telling someone that they can masturbate, but without fantasy is like telling someone they can cook but without any spices or seasonings.

Hi there, I'm intrigued by your point about M and it preventing PE. Do you have any more thoughts on that?

My personal conclusion is that whacking off to porn in a hurry has caused this.

Thanks

Question: I'm pretty sure i have PIED due to the extreme porn i have watched for a good year. I used to get semis when thinking about girls and what i wanted to do to them... but i masturbated to porn twice in one day and since then i can't get the semis anymore. I still get morning wood... i mean i will have a nap and sometimes get them. I don't always wake up with one but do get one while laying in bed. How serious do you think my case is? Just wondering if it will take me 9 months or more.

Stevew said:

Question: I'm pretty sure i have PIED due to the extreme porn i have watched for a good year. I used to get semis when thinking about girls and what i wanted to do to them... but i masturbated to porn twice in one day and since then i can't get the semis anymore. I still get morning wood... i mean i will have a nap and sometimes get them. I don't always wake up with one but do get one while laying in bed. How serious do you think my case is? Just wondering if it will take me 9 months or more.

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I know you might not want to hear this but I have no way of knowing how long it will take you. Just stop using porn and give up masturbation for awhile. It's going to take as long as it's going to take...Just be patient and keep yourself busy with stuff that is non-sexual.

As far as MW, everybody is different. Personally, I pretty much completely lost my MW in my last two years of college. Now, after rebooting, I have one every time I wake up. So...just keep rebooting and see how things improve. That's the only way to do it.

very good point, indeed mr coolidge,

I approached and still do approach my reboot with MO during it. first signs of my ED vanishing are showing. I can get hard without any outside stimulation or fantasy and just relax to the feeling itself.

I think that one of the most crucial point is the speed and orgasm-driven behaviour or Masterbating which is induced by the overstimulation due to porn. The brain gets constant fireworks and cannot concentrate on the "fun feeling".

In my opinion MO - if done in a tender way and not too often (once a week for me) - is not hindering the reboot. And it could really enhance sensation and help eith PE.

Very nice topic!!

I think this post is right on the money.

Coupled with a successful reboot, which is variable, but I'd say about two-three months for most people of abstinence from PMO, and a then ideally, a slide into a healthy sex life, masturbation is entirely viable.

The real killer is porn, hands down. Fantasies about past sexual experiences seem to be just fine. Crazy, I was just writing about all of this in some of my observations during my reboot.

Cheers!

Thanks for the compliment on my username I spent some time thinking about it after I saw all of the funny ones people were coming up with. I'm glad that someone got the joke

As for the masturbatory guideline, I decided that I will only use masturbation after the 3 month mark for sure and when I feel a good response from my penis. I did masturbate about a week ago and it started out as just me seeing if I had any sensitivity gains yet. I didn't, but I wanted to finish so I fantasized about having sex with my girlfriend and that got the job done. I don't want to continue doing that now though because I felt the full wrath of the chaser effect a couple of days later. My realization towards my own addiction was triggered through porn induced ED. So I think that I should be very careful about masturbating when I regain the sensitivity in my man part.

I'm gonna add a picture of mr. Mackey to my profile

I am no expect,but common sense tells me Internet porn is the problem. To easy to get, so many varieties. I guess even cave men may have seen a hot bodied cave women during the day and pulled off that night thinking of her.
  This has nothing to do with the subject, or maybe it does. My friend who was in the Seabees during the Vietnam Nam error told me on his ship if you got caught wacking off, they painted your hand red.
  I am sure a normal person, man or woman could masturbate a few time a week with no issue developing.But when doing so takes much of our free time and affects our performance with a SO, then it's time to fix ourselves mentally and physically.

I've a question about what I'm facing currently. I seem to have normal morning wood but I need some intense blowjob or handjob to keep an erection and orgasm. During normal vaginal penetration, I cannot keep the erection and it's not that I'm not attracted to my partner. I had PIED, but it's been almost 7 months and I have occasionally PMO d. Am I still suffering the consequences of PIED? Can anyone diagnose my symptoms? I've also tried some ED meds and they worked slightly, not significantly.

hey moviesrus,
I'm sorry to say this but you still seem to have PIED. These symptoms exactly sound like the ones I have.
Don't misunderstand me. I am no medic and therefore can only base my assumptions on experiences and knowledge accumulated. However, I suggest you try to  find the missing spark in you reboot. for me it surely could be the "occasional PMO". The main problem with Porn is that it disbalances our perception regarding sex in two ways. The first is a mental component of the rewarding circle which everybody here knows. The second is the induced behaviour by it.
I made a crucial mistake during my reboot. It was to gradually extend my security towards porn. So i first blocked porn, then blocked pictures, now blocked everything. It still gave me opportunity to PMO is some way - even to pictures of normally dressed woman. The problem here is: You still give in to that suction and try to finish fast. So one does not usually take time with masturbation using lube and relaxing atmosphere. When I did MO (I am hon 30-days-hardmode now) I took at least 30-45 minutes for it. I went in my bedroom, used lube and only tried to get it up and active by very slow and light touches. No fapping - more like caressing. There I experienced, that my perception towards sensation was the problem and NOT only PMO. If you wank the shit out of it you can't expect the soft part of the female body to get the same job done. In your case the "hard blowjob and handjob" seem to underline this thought of mine.

My suggestion (again never in a professional way - I am no medic!): Try to restore you sensation. If you touch yourself, take your time or, better, do it with the woman you prefer. For us PIED Guys it seems to be important to do two things:

1. restore our reward circle system in order to get a normal level of arousal by a normal body and not getting constant fireworks from porn.

2. To accustom our bodies again to a sensation, that corresponds actual sex. It is crucial, so I think, to get back to enjoy the whole process and not striving for the climax, basically to accept that sex also works without orgasm and then in the end still have an orgasm that is rewarding after rewarding sex itself.

Funny: I never actually had a quickie in my life, because I never could cum fast. I never had the sensation to do this so I did not understand. The aim I was after was to let sex keep going for a long time without climax. Problem was: it then got boring because the only thing I actually knew WAS how to climax. The sex itself I only enjoyed mentally, never physically because I did simply not feel enough down there to do so. Sad,sad, sad.

Vincent,

Man you're so right! Its true that I've had the same impulses as you to finish off as fast as possible rather than "feeling" it. But, my brain still wants more reward even with normal sex...it wants more and more until my dopamine drops too low and I don't "feel" it anymore. I'm trying to curb my appetite for sex at the moment. Because sometimes sex gets boring when you want to do too much and you fail. Porn isn't the only issue anymore. Its a rapid succession of dopamine rush that my brain craves. And there are a lot of unhealthy ways to achieve that even without porn. But, I take your advice and I'll take it easy from here. Peace.