Leaving porn in my 20's

Hey guys I'm new here, but not new to the idea of nopmo/nofap. Porn has been apart of my life since i was 13 and at 29 I'm hoping to end this in the last year of my 20's. The last straw was a few days ago when I couldn't get aroused easily with a new girl I met. I also believe part of it was slightly due to anxiety. This time around I plan on going semi-hardmode for this journey. So far the last day I masturbated was on the 18th so I'm about 4 days in. My next update I'll go over my goals, boundaries and what I think may help me succeed at this.

Welcome!
We are in a similar boat, I?ll be 28 in December and I really want this in my rear view by then.
Not putting it off til my birthday, starting now.
Good luck!

Hey man, welcome! It's good to have you here. Something that really helped me was just knowing exactly what porn is: any artificial sexual stimulation. For me, this information helped me not even get close to anything resembling porn. That has helped me A TON. Anyways, if you're looking for more stuff that can help, read through some of the posts on the main page and in this part of the forum too.

Being part of this community has made a huge difference in my recovery. I hope you feel open in sharing your experiences with us. Once again, welcome!

Thanks guys!

faenoe said:

Hey man, welcome! It's good to have you here. Something that really helped me was just knowing exactly what porn is: any artificial sexual stimulation. For me, this information helped me not even get close to anything resembling porn. That has helped me A TON.

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I had to put what you said in bold because I definitely agree with you 100%. From, pictures, to erotic literature its all artificially stimulating. I'd go as far as to say having thoughts and fantasies is artificial sexual stimulation.


Goals I want to achieve from this Journey:
1. 90 Days or more
2. A complete mind and sexual reboot
3. Connect with women more (especially during sex)
4. Become aroused naturally with a woman by touch, sight, sound etc., instead of using porn to aid in getting aroused artificially

Boundaries:
No porn of any form (erotic literature, pictures, videos)
Limit the amount of fantasizing/sexual thoughts I do
Only looking at women above the neck (I like to challenge myself)

What may help me succeed:
1. Knowing why I'm doing this
2. Meditating
3. Limit the amount of time in on the internet (specifically social media)
4. Reading and understanding how porn affects the brain
5. Discerning the difference between living in fantasy vs reality (because porn only appeals to our fantasy)

I'll be updating my goals as time goes on and changes i notice starting from today 11-23-2019.  I'm currently 5 days into my reboot.

Day 7

Soo far so good. I don't have any urges to watch porn but I find that my mind will play past porn images/videos from time to time. I'm pretty sure there's an explanation for that. I still have to limit my use of social media because there are some slightly triggering images. I am quick to scroll past them. Since I'm on day 7 I know this is around the time where testosterone kind of spikes. The 7-10 day mark is what I believe some people have said.

Good stuff dude.  2 other things that help a ton: exercising regularly and being close to a woman  Cuddling, snuggling, making out, just getting used to real contact again is very helpful.

Stay free,

-squid

squid said:

Good stuff dude.  2 other things that help a ton: exercising regularly and being close to a woman  Cuddling, snuggling, making out, just getting used to real contact again is very helpful.

Stay free,

-squid

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I definitely plan on doing both of those. So far I have been seeing this girl I've known for a bit. We're not exclusive, but we've messed around a bit. I had some performance anxiety so nothing ever got as far as sex is concerned but she was understanding. It kind of helps that she's a little inexperienced so there's not too much of pressure to perform (she only had one boyfriend).

Day 12

Still, no desire to watch porn and currently I'm not having too much past porn images play in my mind. Usually if I start thinking about those I redirect my thoughts elsewhere. I'm taking supplements that help erections since I've had some issues in the past. I'd usually lose my erections changing positions. Hopefully I can figure out what's causing that but overall everything seems to be going smoothly in this journey. Two week mark in two days!

Day 15

15 Days down, 15 more to go for 1 month!

Some things I noticed is that when I fantasize my erections are quick to respond. Now, I'm not sure if that's due to me actually giving up porn, not fantasizing as much, these male supplements I'm taking, or a combination of all of these things. Last night, I hung with a girl and we couldn't have sex due to logistical reasons, but I did get a medium erection. Everything is looking good so far.

Day 21

21 days so far soo good. This has been a good streak. It's been a while since I've made it 3 weeks straight. In the past it was hard to even get through a week. My determination and desire to have a normal and healthy sex life is strong. Denying oneself of instant gratification, in my opinion, is a major plus and beneficial in the long run. Porn = instant gratification.

Awesome job on your streak so far, I am hoping December will be a full 4 weeks for me.

k-fff said:

Awesome job on your streak so far, I am hoping December will be a full 4 weeks for me.

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Thanks and good luck! It's not easy, but the desire, determination, and discipline( especially if its strong) will help you reach your goal. I also look at past experiences as fuel to keep me going.


I've been having sexual dreams lately. It's happened twice within the last 3 days. No signs of any nocturnal emissions. I'm pretty sure this is a sign of the brain rewiring/changing. A few more days and it'll be a 4 week streak. I'm looking forward to it.

Day 58
I haven't posted in a long time but its been a long time since I've made it this far. It hasnt been easy and I have been tempted to watch porn. But, I haven't given in. A few days after my last post I ended up having sex and it was a success. That has been my only encounter within these 58 days. I realize I'll need a consistent partner so that I can further rewire myself to the real thing. Anyway, 2 days shy of 60 and I'm pleased with my progress.

Hey man!

Congratulations, holy crap! From this point on triggers really should affect you less and less, and as long as you stay internally convinced that PMO is not for you, and commited to this change, you will go as far as you need to go. Of course, it's not good to relax too much since this can lead you down some bad rationalizations, but you've been pretty faithful to your username, and I think that's amazing.

I also think that you don't NEED to be with a girl to reboot properly. In fact abstaining completely can work as great practice, since there will be times in your life where you just won't be able to have sex, both if you're single or not, so if you can wire yourself to not compulsively NEED sex, and rather want and enjoy sex with partners you are connected to (at least to some level), without your sex drive taking control of your steering wheel per se, it will be better for you in the long run imo.


Best of luck, and stay free!