Book Recommendations

Anyone have book reccomendations for those dealing with Porn Addiction or related issues like how to heal after an emotional or physical affair, ect please share here! Links to good articles online are appreciated as well, just include a brief description.
 

Gracie

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
The book Love You Hate The Porn by Mark Chamberlain and Geoff Steuer got my husband and I through.  We both read it and underlined what we wanted each other to know. Mark has a blog by the same name.  It has information for both sides of this. I literally was blown away by their approach.

Blog is markchamberlainphd.blogspot.com
 

Loleekins

Active Member
The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck. Timeless wisdom. I recommend this book for anyone struggling in life with any obstacle.

 

marsturm

Active Member
The Little Book of Big Change by Amy Johnson
The Serenity Principle by Joseph Bailey
The Relationship Handbook by George Pransky
 
I'll be looking into these books, thanks everyone! Another book that isn't about PA but is great for anyone going through a major life crisis (making it great for both partners and addicts) is The Traveler's Gift, by Andy Andrews. My husband and I have been taking turns reading it out loud recently and we both have grown to look forward to our reading time! Reading out loud has been another great way to rebuild our relationship. I highly reccomended it to any of the couples here regardless of the book :)
 

Hablablos

Active Member
1. The Slight Edge by Jeff Olsen - this book explain how small things makes all the difference between success and failure. How few simple disciplines repeated every day will drastically help you on your journey and your life.

2. No more Mr. Nice guy by Robert Glover - it describes a "Nice guy syndrome" how it was created and tools how to become a confident man. I believe that this syndrome affects many us and explains why we ended up with porn addiction. Altrough I found these tools by other means, it still helped me undestand what could affect me that much. For the start you can read shorter description: http://www.drglover.com/no-more-mr-nice-guy.html

A line from this book:
"Many Nice Guys discovered at an early age that sexual arousal was a good distraction from the isolation,
turmoil, unrealistic demands, and abandonment experiences of their childhood. Unfortunately, when
Nice Guys bring their sensual security blanket into adulthood, it prevents them from experiencing
intimate and fulfilling sex with another individual."

3. Start with Why by Simon Sinek - describes golden circle how we decide much about anything. And how important is to start with question WHY. To get the idea you can look at his TED talk as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp0HIF3SfI4

4. Learned Optimism by Martin E. P. Seligman - many people tells us that being an optimist is better. This book explains reason why is that and how being a pesimist or an optimist affect us in work, at home. How it affect our immune system. And the best thing, optimism can be learned.

5. Models by Mark Manson - it is considered as a dating book, but don't look for tips what you should say or do. Mark has a different point of view on dating. Many might have a problem when it comes down to vulnerability, but I personally think he is right. Mark also have a good blog talking about life www.markmanson.net

6. Emotion Intelligence by Jane Wharam - I believe that many os us used porn as a method how to instantly deal with emotions that has been bothering us for a long time. And if we truly want to recover, we need to address this emotions. This book gives us tools which helps us understand the most important person in the world. Ourselves. Also it contain tests, which tell us how good we know ourselves.

7. Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki - thus it is financial book, it has a few good tips for life as well. Most of us don't want to live from paycheck to paycheck (I am sure I don't), it is also a good start for your financial education. Book also points out that the only thing most people know, is to work harder, have two/three jobs and they still don't earn much.

8. Four hour body by Tim Ferris - it destroys many work out myths and show us, that developing a nice body might not be as hard as we are told. I was intrigued by chapter how to heal permanent injuries and prevent them in future. When I consider that I spent most of my life sitting in chair behind computer screen and fucked up my spine(sorry, can't say it better), it is quite a relief that I can also fix it.

9. Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell - this book looks on a success from a different angle. In tell us about theory of 10 000 hours and how believing in talent is overrated.

10. Focus by Daniel Goleman - I recommend to read this book after Outliers. It corrects some misunderstanding on the topic of 10 000 hours theory. Because it's not only the amount, but also the constant work not to fall in automatic process. Also describes why focus is an ability we will need in the upcoming years.

11. End of procrastination by Petr Ludwig - it enhances idea of The Slight Edge and gives you tools how to fight with procrastination more efficiently. Unfortunatelly it is still not translated into english language. For the info you can watch www.procrastination.com

Just be aware that some of this books also talks about sex, so there is a chance that you might relapse. But don't panic or discouraged by that, because in this case it is for a good thing. These books has a lot of references for other books so I think you will have plenty of reading material.
 
WOW! Great list, Hablablos! I'll certainly look into these. Husband and I just finished reading the The Five Love Languages together. We both highly reccomend it to other couples out there. Our therapist was glad we read it, as he stated it is one of his favorites. It is great for couples to read together, but you can also take on the challenges yourself if your spouse doesn't want to read it or is too distant from the relationship. Keep reading!
 
Here is a great list from http://www.mymensgroup.net

Sorry the formatting got a little messed up in cut and paste process. There are many more great resources and book excerpts on that site.


Resources for Recovery from Sexual Brokenness



Books by Brennan Manning: Abba?s Child. Relentless Tenderness of Jesus. Furious Longing of God.

A Glimpse of Jesus-the stranger to self hatred. Ruthless Trust..

Sexual Addiction Screening Test, mysexsurvey.com

Covenant Eyes, covenanteyes.com. Accountability Software , comprehensive resources. 877-479-1119

Ferree, Marnie C. No Stones: Women redeemed from sexual addiction 2nd ed. Downers Grove, IL:

InterVarsity Press, 2010.

Laaser, Mark R. Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2004.

New Life Ministries, Newlife.com. 800-639-5433 (Steve Arterburn, Henry Cloud, John Townsend)

Ryan, T.C. Ashamed No More: A pastor's journey through sex addiction. Downers Grove, IL:

InterVarsity Press, 2012.

Wilkerson, Mike. Redemption?Freed by Jesus from the idols we worship and the wounds we carry.

Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2011


For Spouses, Fianc?s, and Families

Beattie, Melody, Codependent No More: How to stop controlling others and start caring for yourself.

20th anniversary edition. Center City, MN: Hazelden, 2006.

Beattie, Melody, The Grief Club: The secret to getting through all kinds of change. Center City,

MN: Hazelden, 2006.

Carnes, Stephanie, editor. Mending A Shattered Heart: a guide for partners of sex addicts. Carefree, AZ:

Gentle Path Press, 2011.

Haas, Melissa. L.I.F.E Guide for Spouses. Freedom Everyday, 2008 freedomeveryday.org/spouses/supportgroups/ 866-408-5433. Resources to encourage, empower, and equip God's people to live everyday in sexual integrity

Means, Marsha. Living With Your Husband?s Secret Wars. Grand Rapids: Revell, 1999.

Means, Marsha. and Steffens, Barbara. Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How partners can cope and heal.

New Horizons Press, 2009

New Life Partners. Newlifepartners.org. A support group for wives whose husbands are caught in the web

of sexual addiction.

Wilson, Meg. Hope After Betrayal?Healing when sexual addiction invades your marriage. Grand Rapids:

Kregel Publications, 2007.


Accountability and Filtering Software:

?familysafeweb.com ?integrityonline.com ?internetsafety.com

?xxxchurch.com / pureonline.com ?covenanteyes.com


Counseling; Recovery Groups; Organizations

American Association of Christian Counselors. aacc.net, 800-526-8673

Celebrate Recovery. celebraterecovery.com

Christian Care Center, Dr. Mark Laaser, Largo FL, faithfulandtrueministries.com

Faithful and True Ministries. faithfulandtrueministries.com. Dr Mark Laaser. Office, 952-746-3880

Pure Life Ministries, Counseling. purelifeministries.org. 888.787-3543

Sexaholics Anonymous, sa.org. Twelve-Step Group. 866-424-8777

Sex addiction therapists (certified). sexhelp.com

Smalley Relationship Cente. smalleyonline.com. 800-848-6329


Residential Treatment for Sexual Addictions Recovery

Bethesda Workshops, bethesdaworkshops.org

Branches Recovery, branchesrecoverycenter.com.

Christian Care Center, faithfulandtrueministries.com

Keystone Center Extended Care Unit, wwwkeystonecenterecu.net.

The Meadows, themeadows.org.

Pine Grove Gentle Path Program, pinegrovetreatment.com.


Other Resources

Be Broken Ministries. bebroken.com. Help for women and men

Blazing Grace Ministry. blazinggrace.org

Co-Dependents Anonymous. codependents.org

Co-Dependents of Sex Addicts. cosa-recovery.org

Everymansbattle.com

Faithful and True Ministries. faithfulandtrueministries.com. Mark Laaser.

freedombeginshere.org

HarvestUSA. harvestusa.org.

Hazelden Educational Materials. hazelden.org

S-Anon International Family Groups. sanon.org

Safe Families. safefamilies.org

250+ Facts and Stats About Pornography, Covenant Eyes, http://www.covenanteyes.com/pornography-

facts-and-statistics/

John McDowell?s extensive research and resources on pornography, http://www.just1clickaway.org


Books

Arterburn, S., F. Stoeker and M. Yorkey. Every Man?s Battle: Winning the war on sexual temptation one victory at a time. Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook Press, 2000.

Carnes, Patrick. Contrary to Love: Helping the sexual addict. Center City, MN: Hazelden, 2001

________. Out of the Shadows, understanding sexual addiction, 3rd ed. Center City, MN:

Hazelden Educational Materials, 2001.

Earle, Ralph Jr. and Laaser, Mark. The Pornography Trap: Setting pastors and laypersons free from sexual addiction. Kansas City: Beacon Hill, 2002

Freedom Begins Here: Finding Hope, Direction And Change In A Sexually Saturated Culture. Devotional Journal & Personal Toolkit. Gray Communications, 2008.

Gilkerson, Luke, editor. Internet Pornography-A ministry leader's handbook. PDF download,

covenanteyes.com. 2010.

Keller, Timothy. Counterfeit Gods: The empty promise of money, sex and power, and the only hope that matters. New York: Dutton, 2009

Larkin, Nate. Samson and the Pirate Monks - Calling men to authentic brotherhood. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2006. Former pastor, recovering sex addict . 615-791- 8308.

Layden, MaryAnne. The Social Costs of Pornography: A statement of findings and recommendations. The Witherspoon Institute, 2010.

Leahy, Michael. Porn Nation: conquering America?s #1 addiction. Locust Grove, IL: Northfield Publishing, 2008.

Maltz, Wendy and Larry. The Porn Trap ? The essential guide to overcoming problems caused by pornography. New York: HarperCollins, 2010.

Ron J, the ?White Book? of Sexaholics Anonymous. Simi Valley, CA: SA Literature, 1989. by former Presbyterian pastor. Available only online at sa.org. 866-424-8777

Schaumburg, Harry. Undefiled: Redemption from sexual sin, restoration for broken relationships. Moody Publishers, 2009

Struthers, William. Wired for Intimacy: How pornography hijacks the male brain. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Books, 2009. Wiredforintimacy.blogspot.com (brain science, research)

Warren, Shellie R. A Woman?s Guide to Sexual Integrity. Baker Books, 2010.

Weis, R and Schneider, J. Untangling the Web: Sex, porn, and fantasy obsession in the Internet age. New York: Aylson Publications, 2006.


 
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