Story about my PIED

Well GoodMorning peeps...
I'm gonna tell my story on my Porn Induced ED. Well I'm 20 years old, My first time having sex was when I was about 11 when me and a friend we're experimenting. In between then and 11 -12 I didn't have no sexual encounters neither was I masturbating. When I was 13 I found a porn dvd in my dad's office and use to watch it but didn't masturbate to it until I was 14, after that day I use to masturbate almost everyday once a day.

When i was 15 I finally got a computer and i started to masturbate more regularly sometimes 2-3 times a day saving all sorts of files in my computer, but also while i was 15 I lost my virginity, back then I wasn't having any erection problems at all, my penis was so sensitive back then, then after the break up a year later, I started to masturbate A LOT, everyday 2-4 times a day. I didn't have sex for 3 years until when i meet this girl at a party and we kicked it off, i realized i wasn't that sensitive down there anymore but i was getting a proper erection so i didn't pay it any mind and i didn't even last that long.

Fast forward 2 months later i've watched almost every video on a certain porn site and decided its time i got some real sex.. so I invited this girl over and we started to have sex but I realized i wasn't really enjoying it and I was constantly getting back soft after like 3 mins after stroking a bit. I had to fantasize to keep an erection, I no longer had no sensitivity in my penis. After we did it 3 more times and more failed i had didn't have sex for another year until last July another failed attempt and didn't have sex until the start of this year 2014. I was hard thinking about having sex with this girl and one night i told her i wanted to come over and she gave me a blowjob, i realized after i got the blowjob that i felt absolutely nothing, my penis sensitivity was gone and i had to fantasize to stay hard, until one evening I masturbated and since that day I have had no interest in sex, The girl I wanted to have sex with came over and i had no sex drive at all... absolutely no interest. Then one day I did something stupid and took an ice and put it on my penis to see if i could of felt anything.. I didn't even feel a thing and i'm not even circumcised, the tip of my penis is all dried it probably because all the masturbation and wiping my penis with tissue after orgasm and prolly rubbing against my boxers.

So I got scared and went to the doctor, penis was strinking to the fact i could't get hard and have no sensitivity down there and told him i'm not aroused anymore, he told me that's all in my head. After i got home i researched every thing on the internet and came across Yourbrainonporn and saw Gabe's video. So i said I'm gonna try this and see if it works. The first 3 weeks were actually fine, my penis felt heavier, I was thinking clearer and was actually motivated to do more with my life but after that month I've had no interest in nothing, masturbating nor even looking at porn because it doesn't turn me on anymore.

This morning i was trying to get a girl over and i have no sex drive at all so i told her don't worry, This is my second month. I've had failed sex once because of PE since i started to reboot, relapse twice by masturbating without watching porn.. only if I could get these sexual fantasies out of my head. I'm actually thinking about going to the doctor for my depression because as from this Monday i felt pretty suicidal. But I have faith in this reboot. I just need more motivation and guidance. I do hope we all find our way out of this mess we put our selves through..

You are in flat line. That would explain the lack of sex drive and depression. Just keep fighting the good fight. As your dopamine receptors return to their normal level, it will get much better and you'll have a greater appreciation for life's natural pleasures (exercise, food, sex, companionship, the outdoors, etc.)

How would I know I'm rebooted? When I finally get an erection from thoughts again? When my libido returns? What do I have to look out for ? 

@TAKID

How would I know I'm rebooted? When I finally get an erection from thoughts again? When my libido returns? What do I have to look out for ?

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From our FAQ section (frequently asked questions)

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How do you know when you are rebooted?

There is no for sure way to tell if you are 100% recovered, and guys reboot for several different reasons. As far as porn-induced ED goes, you only know your recovered when you no longer have ED during sex.

There are some signs to look for though....

1. You can achieve a rock solid erection just by touching and sensation with No porn and NO fantasy! ( remember its not good to test so this should only be done if your feeling good about the following lol)

2. You feel like connecting with people and you notice satisfaction on everyday things and a sort of appreciation for small things like a cute girls smile.

3. You no longer crave porn at all but you desire to interact with real girls! This is a good sign your brain knows the old wankin habits are gone.

4. Your sexual thoughts change. Meaning when fantasies do pop up in your head they're not porn related but more natural. (example seeing a girl and insted of thinking about her bent over a chair you think about how amazing just normal good old fashion missionary sex would be)

5. You are getting fairly consistent morning wood. And maybe some spontaneous erections throughout the day.

6. Semen leakage (if you had any) like when you go to the bathroom and notice some cloudy stuff in the water after you pee.. Has stopped.

7. Sex (if you are able to have it) feels fantastic.

8. You have a desire to talk to or pursue a partner.

9. After an orgasm you do not go into a flatline.

10. Your refractory period shortens.

Like I said, no way to tell for sure, just some things to look for.
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For more FAQ's go here: http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=70.0

How about the high urges to have sex in the morning? Does that return to? From what I understand from reading success stories and the many articles on yourbrainonporn.com, the younger you are the better your results should be after you reboot. Also seen that many people aren't interested in the visuals while having sex anymore. E.g her breast jumping around, etc.. Hopefully I would be aroused by those things right after my reboot. I'm doing this reboot without a partner as well.. because I think I'll reboot faster without any sort of sexual activities.. Realized that reading these success stories give me hope but at the same time giving me images of past encounters which puts me in a deeper depressing state..

What about my penis sensitivity ? I hardly feel ANYTHING at all when touching down there.

@TAKID

What about my penis sensitivity ? I hardly feel ANYTHING at all when touching down there.

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This usually comes back as well. I went through the infamous "dead dick" phase where I felt completely numb. It took me about 6 months to get out of it... but slowly and surely I did.

How about the high urges to have sex in the morning? Does that return to?

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For me they did. But my urges are controllable and not as drastic as you would think. Normal guys do not just wake up with a giant urge to hump something. As we get older we get what I call "boner control" and we simply can get aroused when we want to get aroused. Just be patient and stick to the reboot!

I'm doing this reboot without a partner as well.. because I think I'll reboot faster without any sort of sexual activities

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Well it is wise to stay away from all artificial sexual stimulation as well as orgasm during a reboot. But I would highly suggest pursuing a loving partner or spending time around a real partner.

reading these success stories give me hope but at the same time giving me images of past encounters which puts me in a deeper depressing state

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Decide if you want to read them or not. It's up to you. For me personally they always provided hope... but I understand your point. Maybe just read a few here and there in times of need.

TAKID said:

What about my penis sensitivity ? I hardly feel ANYTHING at all when touching down there.

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I'm going through the same thing right now bro.
I haven't had a rock hard mushroom tip in quite some time.
I've only been semi-hard at times and have to settle for that.
Best news for me during my reboot is that all my orgasms came (pun intended)
from a real woman.

TAKID said:

What about my penis sensitivity ? I hardly feel ANYTHING at all when touching down there.

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In my opinion, sensitivity takes the longest time to return. You really need to give it a lot of time. It is possible, that actual nerve trauma has to heal. Thankfully our bodies are magnificent and they can heal.

To give you an example, five months ago a could not feel a bj at all and nothing happened. By now, I can get hard every time from it and it starts to feel good.

I stopped PMO and MO (just one single MO in three months) and the actual skin of my penis is visibly starting to recover from giving it a rest.

So just hang in there.

In my opinion, sensitivity takes the longest time to return. You really need to give it a lot of time. It is possible, that actual nerve trauma has to heal. Thankfully our bodies are magnificent and they can heal.

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Even if it comes from a real woman?
I've been rebooting for like 6 weeks or so but I have had orgasms from my lovely assistant  8) from time to time.

To give you an example, five months ago a could not feel a bj at all and nothing happened.

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It pains me just to read that because I had it that bad too.
It's getting a little better.

By now, I can get hard every time from it and it starts to feel good.

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That's wonderful news, way to go!

TAKID said:

so basically no touching the penis?

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Everyone is different. But yes, for me that means no touching except for cleaning - and of course my girl can touch all she wants. Well actually not, she may not do rough stuff with her hands, since it is too dry.

In my case, right now rough darker skin on my penis starts to transform into softer, clearer skin. There are still areas and patches of the old skin, that is why it is so noticeable right now.

In my opinion, there are two things about sensitivity. First de-sensitization of the brain, which rebooting and rewiring adresses. But then there can be actual physical changes to the skin and nerves of the penis from all the masturbation, depending on the methods and individual circumstances. I used to not use lotion, so it was basically always dry rubbing. I am not surprised now, that this might have caused me to feel much less over the years.

Thankfully both issues are gradually getting better over the months. Rebooting works, but it needs time.

Viper said:

[...]
Even if it comes from a real woman?
I've been rebooting for like 6 weeks or so but I have had orgasms from my lovely assistant  8) from time to time.
[...]

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Opinions about this differ a lot. I didn't do a "clean" reboot, because I wanted results fast, as ED almost caused my at the time new relationship to break early on. But my girlfriend is someone I'd fight for, so I did all I could to have sex early on. Which in my case included lots of ED drugs and "forcing" erection. This is usually not recommended, but it worked for me and I have had progress every month. Maybe it would be faster without that, but I still have my girl and that is more important for me.

I strictly and successfully avoid porn, gave up masturbation and rewire like hell with lots of sex (using ED drugs). That's my method. It's not pretty, but I get results.

Mart71 said:

I strictly and successfully avoid porn, gave up masturbation and rewire like hell with lots of sex (using ED drugs). That's my method. It's not pretty, but I get results.

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Sweet!
Results are all that matter.
And you got to keep the girl.
Sounds like a romantic comedy in the making  ;D

The hardest time for me was when I first really quit (throw out porn, etc). I had ZERO sensation for close to two months, I mean totally nada. It was very hard dealing with it, it was really wrecking me mentally to think that I was "a guy who can't get it up" but now I realize that I was being really harsh with myself and that the alternative was having PIED anyway.

After I relapsed the subsequent recovery is easier, I think that's probably because that neural pathway only got accessed once as opposed to every day. For me morning wood came back fastest, so I'd wake up hard but have dead dick all day. After some time it REALLY hit me how much I've been missing out on in life though. Like when I got my first erection in YEARS from kissing or being able to go dancing with a girl and get hard from that, that really kicked my ass (in the positive) as a realization.

It's so worth it.

HowElse said:

Like when I got my first erection in YEARS from kissing or being able to go dancing with a girl and get hard from that, that really kicked my ass (in the positive) as a realization.

It's so worth it.

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bro, wasn't that the best feeling when you're dancing with someone you're attracted to and you get hard?
It's amazing how we take these things for granted until it's gone.
I applaud your recovery efforts and I hope I'll make it sooner than later.

Viper said:

HowElse said:

Like when I got my first erection in YEARS from kissing or being able to go dancing with a girl and get hard from that, that really kicked my ass (in the positive) as a realization.

It's so worth it.

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bro, wasn't that the best feeling when you're dancing with someone you're attracted to and you get hard?
It's amazing how we take these things for granted until it's gone.
I applaud your recovery efforts and I hope I'll make it sooner than later.

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Thank you! Yes, this is definitely an experience that makes you appreciate all the facets of life that we've missed on (and ones that probably most people are not taking in either).

Saturday I went to this party and these girls were dancing, shaking there asses everywhere and one of them danced on me,I didn't even feel a thing .. I felt so embarrassed and went home the same time. No visual stimulation at all . Makes me feel so angry at my self for watching porn. I honestly don't know what to do next. 

I believe I have a mixture of sexual exhaustion and pied.