Did I just relapse?

Hi everyone I want to keep this as brief as possible. I found out about nofap and your brain on porn a few years ago after searching online as to why I was having a ED,and of course I later found it was due to the porn I would watch in my late teens and my twenties.Anyways I went on a reboot,relapsed a few times,but then managed to go without PMO for a few months.I did have a flat line,but then I slowly started getting my mojo back.Just standing near a good looking girl would get me horny asf.Anyways I managed to go about 2 yrs without looking at porn,but I would still wack off once every 2 weeks as maintenance,sometimes thinking about a chick,but the good thing was I left the porn behind.I eventually got married in 2017 in another country and the sex was okay,it seemed I cured my ED.I had a limp dick here and there,but nothing as bad as it used to be.Anyway to cut a long story short,my wife just told me she?s pregnant and I was happy am happy about it,but the only bad thing is she is not in the mood for sex due to morning sickness,so I whacked myself off one night to relieve myself,I kind of felt bad about it,but then the next day I forgot about it.
The next day I was alone in my room and felt kind of horny,I decided to look up
Sex position gifs on google images or sex gifs,girl on top gifs and missionary sex gifs.I did this for a few days for like a few minutes at a time without walking off to the images.
The images were basically gifs of repeated sex movements from porn clips,some were animations like 3D sex positions.I later whacked off but not thinking about the images,just to my imaginations.
I later came to and felt bad about it.The question is did I relapse? Will this affect my reboot and what I accomplished in the last 2 years??? I?m kind of worried and paranoid now about it now and been thinking about it the last 2 days.Also the images I saw were not as hardcore as the porn I used to watch,and it was also just gifs.I haven?t seen a full blown porn video with moans and sounds in like 2 years,so I don?t know what kind of damage sex gifs can do.
Please give me some insight guys,I hope I didn?t ruin my streak with that stupid decision I made of looking at sex gifs.Is this considered a relapse or just a small set back?
I also don?t want this to affect my sex life with my wife,I can?t afford to go back to looking at porn or any of that garbage.I refuse to go back.I made a small mistake these few days,but I repented and acknowledged my error.
Thoughts???
 

ImInControl

Active Member
hey, my opinion is.. show compassion towards yourself and decide RIGHT NOW that you wont do that shit again.
then no, in my book you haven't broken the streak....... as long as you don't go back seeking it.

I made the mistake when my girlfriend was pregnant.. same story as your's - but I kept watching porn. after two years when my son was born.. we broke up.
This is not a situation you want to be in... trust me, I would do anything to have a family,, living happily with the mother to my child. but no.. I hurt her, I dissapointed her.. I destroyed the trust and everything - that day she caught me with porn and she was pregnant. 

Don't make my mistake, please. I am seeing my son once a month.. you have no idea how much that hurts as a father.

Good job being pmo free for 2 years. Proceed with that!!

All the best
 
G

Greenzebra

Guest
Zazen, your story touches home.

Im in the same boat with my child. This can be a terrible thing. Not connecting with the person you love.

Dont be too hard on yourself. We can be present caring loving people. We can recover. 
 
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