50 years old and...

As the title suggests, I am a 50 year old man who has for more years than I care to remember have suffered from retarded or delayed ejaculation.  Whether it was a milestone birthday or something else that I am not aware of I have decided to once again try and reverse my condition.

A little bit more about myself and in no particular order as I write:

In all respects I am a healthy 50 year old male, married with two boys.

I have a job that is stressful and one that I do not enjoy.

My lifestyle is comfortable and as a family we are lucky that we have pretty much all that we need.

For a long time, in fact since I have had access to the internet I have switched onto watching porn and watching in the main BDSM and S&M videos and my viewing has become more and more extreme/kinky.  I have in the past prior to being married visited professional dominatrixes, so that gives you an idea that I am predominantly submissive.  I have also played the dominant with a submissive female friend in the past, but stopped this relationship as it was getting out of hand.

I do masturbate whilst watching porn.  I rarely masturbate with my hand only and have bought into playing with Fleshlights, electro stim, anal play and poppers.  All have given me more and more intense orgasms.  I also like a bit of ?home? cock and ball torture. I have recognised this is part of my problem and I need to reverse all these learned habits.  Both my wife and I have been for counselling and went through the sensate technique etc all with no success.  I have also been for hypnotherapy, again with no success.  My wife knows of some of my fetishes and will dress to please and will use a strap on with me once in a while.  We have and sometimes do watch porn together and she likes to play with her sex toys.  She has no idea of my use of electro stim or poppers.

Today I have made a pledge to myself and my wife that I want to change.  I have disposed of my poppers as the first act of commitment.  What I am looking for is guidance on how I can get back on track and to be honest to see if I can, as I am unsure if I have the strength to do so.

Of course you can do this ZeeW. Welcome to the community. I've only been part of this for almost 20 days, but It's already helped me a lot. I would suggest you read as many journals as possible, take part and watch the video clips by Gabe Deem. Visit other related sites which you'll hear mentioned or referred to in the journals and videos.

Good luck to you although it's actually not a matter of luck but of decision. You've made decisions in the right direction already.

Welcome to the forum ZeeW.
I wish you success with your journey.

Welcome to the Nation Zee,
you have the strength you need inside, find it, embrace it.
We all can beat this.

Hi ZeeW

This is an insightful video about Gabe and how long it took him to get back his normal functions. http://youtu.be/JRehA9C0ajQ

What's up ZeeW? How are things going?

Hey horpio - thanks for the ask. 

To be honest I am finding this all very difficult and its tough.  It feels more like a punishment than a reward.  I have gone cold turkey and I feel really down, but continue to go hour by hour and day by day.

I need a strategy to fill my time with alternatives to porn, something to keep my mind and body occupied.

I knew all of this would noty be easy, but I had no idea what a shock it would be to me.  I'm not in the best place at the moment, but I intend to keep going.

Thanks.

Hey ZeeW
From what you say I can gather that you're caught between a rock and a hard place. My empathy. I see your counter is on day 8, that's a reason to say congratulations  8) Another thing worth mentioning is where you say

ZeeW said:

I'm not in the best place at the moment, but I intend to keep going.

Click to expand...

Glad you decided to keep going.

I saw this quote on my gym's wall on Saturday:
"I hated every minute
of training, but I said
'Don't quit.
Suffer now and live
the rest of your
life as a champion."
-Muhammad Ali-

Sounds like a good idea to come up with a strategy. Let us know once you've worked something out. Maybe these questions can steer you in a direction:

What is it that you enjoy doing? (Apart from the obvious of course  )
What kind of physical activity do you enjoy?
What kind of books do you like to read?
What kind of social activity do you enjoy?
How do you like spending time with your boys? Your wife? Friends?
How would you like ......

PS. I feel a bit like the blind trying to lead the blind.

If you're going through hell, keep going.

Winston Churchill