That's it, never again!

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
I feel off the bandwagon big time.

After going weeks without PMOing, I figured I didn't need RN.org or these forums anymore. I was wrong.

When I was doing my best, I had a new regular routine, and it was working very well, and there is something new that I'm going to do for now on, to make sure I stay focused. I found out that writing a letter from your future self helps with your will power.

So here goes day 1.

Thank you KC, for taking the few steps in recovery. Thank you for admitting to yourself, one other person, and God/The Universe you can't control your compulsion to watch porn and you need help to return back to sanity, and I'm willing to give my entire life over to God as I understand him.

These steps will help you help you take a huge step forward, and you will recover.

You know, you can't be a child anymore, and that your relationship with your fianc? is what is truly important. Getting the 'life you want' can wait. Focus on loving her and finding a new way to live is the most important thing to do right now.

You can do it! You will find faith and maturity again.
 

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Day 2,

You did great KC. A whole day without porn. And meditating first thing in the morning. You choose well. Remember, this is not about being strong. If it were, you'd have 'kicked' this. It is about choices.

You choose to leave the pig pen of pornography, and go home, to your father. And you know your father loved seeing it so much, he saw the very first step you took, and ran to meet you!

Keep going!
 

Gabriel1960

Active Member
I grew up in a household where we would celebrate weight loss by having an ice cream sundae.  No joke.

Why not celebrate one month of freedom from PMO by engaging in PMO?  That's my sick mind for you.  I've actually been on hard mode this past week because my spouse has been in Florida this week visiting relatives.  It goes back to the old Airplane! movie joke: "I guess I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!"

I'll be OK today.  One day, one hour, sometimes one minute at a time. 

Gabriel
 

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Day,

Wow, three days clean now. It is such a great feeling. Everyday you stay away from P, the more human you start to feel! You know exactly what to do, discipline yourself, write a daily journal of your journey to stay focused on the life you want to live. Don't let anything get in the way. That is the way.

When you're focused, you will stop 'whoring yourself' to strange women on P sites, just to catch a small bit of dopamine, you stay true to God and to your fianc?!
 
N

notgivinup

Guest
Hey Kurall.....you are here, and you are continuing on. So glad you are here.

The progress made before the bump in the road is not lost.

I am encouraged by your posts and that you are here...moving forward.

NGU
 

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Day 4,

I am glad that you have stayed strong each morning. I am glad you are choosing the adult choices more than the childish choices, and it is helping you a great deal. You're aren't feeling as sick as you once were, and getting up early is working for you.

Remember even though this is a life long battle, it's only fought minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day - it is easy to imagine yourself doing something else and making that new thing happen than you realize.
 

Jailbird

Member
Hey!
Adult choices, routines, not whoring yourself out to pornographers ... Great attitude to have and I'm glad in dipped into your thread to get inspired.
Here's hoping you carry on like this. Is this your first nofap attempt?
I see that you also mention meditation. I must better understand this and try to add it to my strategems.
FF
 

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Day 5,

Well done. You're doing great. It's getting easier to get up early, and spend time with the Bible, prayer and focus on coming here and writing this journal. I know it is hard, but you're doing great. Stay strong and of good courage, you are not alone in this fight. You have all the encouragement from your Heavenly Father, and the men of this board.

Don't forget, the vast majority of men struggle with you, and they don't know the full consequences of the lives they live. The physical and mental health issues that rise through constant PMO. It is time to be a real beacon for change.
 

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Day 6,

Thank you for fighting the good fight, and keeping the faith. You're doing great. Stay focused, and don't let the little foxes steal the grapes on the vine. It's so easy to get lost in this addiction, but living thoughtfully, and mindfully is one of the keys.

Remember, if this was easy to beat, every man in the world would have easily dropped this when they first wanted to quit.
 
F

Feetfirst

Guest
Well said KC.
Keep up the fight. No matter how hard it will never be worse than the misery of active addiction. Keep it in the moment. Day at a time. FF
 

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Day 7,

Every morning, you see a poster, whose awesome, you're awesome. You are. You are the very image of a creative God, who brought you are into the world to be creative - to make something beautiful. The more you stay away from porn, the more loving you are.

Stay strong, stay separated from porn. While millions of men fall into that pit, stay focused and shine like a beacon. Show them how porn harms them, and how to fight back.
 

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Day 8,

I want to stand against the pornographers, sitting in the petty castles, exploiting men for money and girls to exploit those men. They are leeches who suck the life out of our culture for pieces of paper that are painted by our government. They are nothing but maggots decomposing a dead carcass!

You're doing great KC! You can keep going and do something about all this bull crap! You're not weak, powerless or insignificant.
 

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Day 10,

Keep going. You feel awesome today. No upset stomach, no weakness in your body. No weakness in your mind. You will do it. You will overcome. You are overcoming every day now. You will live in mindful freedom, and you will help others.

Everything in your life, the lord has given to be a testimony, not to exalt you, but to testify of himself, and his love.
 

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Day 11,

I know you relapsed, but do not falter, do not be discouraged. This battle is a hard one, and sometimes it will get the best of you. You are getting better, and you will continue to grow and make a better life for yourself.

You are not back at day 1 again, taking your first step, you've come so far. Keep going and keep fighting this. If a righteous man falls 7 times, he gets up.
 
N

notgivinup

Guest
Kurall.....get up and keep going.

You know about this....and you know that you just get up, and replace it with something else.

I have been in the tar pits of shame with all this crap before...and I know that even when you don't feel like it...you just GET UP and keep moving forward.

You can do this....you've already done so much. Glad you are here. Thanks for keeping your commitment to resetting your counter when needed. Speaking the truth is the first step toward moving on....clean.

Glad you are here.

NGU
 

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Day 13,

You may have fallen yesterday, but you still moved forward. You did your best, and that is all anybody can do. Be happy!

You will do better.
 

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Day 21,

Do not be discouraged. You have fallen a great deal, but you can get up and try again. You can ask God to take away the defects of your character away and start again.

Do not be dismayed.
 

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Day 25,

You are going to do it. I know the last time you looked at P was the last time you looked at P for the rest of your life. You can feel the difference in you, the general sense everything will be alright. By the grace of God, you will never watch it again!
 

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Day 26,

Keep going. Choose a different path. This disease is about seeking, not the doing. If you seek a new way, and look forward to new things, life will get better.  Breathe in for 3 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, and exhale for 7 seconds.

God will be there for you in that prayer.
 
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