45days hit mark.

A

Ashu001

Member
I been addicted to porn for 6years now. I have seen some hardcore things and done some of it aswell. I still remember the first time did it. That was so good like a cocaine( never tried cocaine) but I know it would fill your brain with chemicals. I have had many encounters with girls, but some time I am not able to get an erection. So far I have managed to take 2 weeks break and more out of porn. Currently, I am dating a girl. She is super sweet but I haven?t to have sex with her I tried one time but I was unable to get it erect but I explained her my situation. Also I was doing my 3 month no Pmo. I managed to get through 30 days with out it but then she gave me bj, I was full on hard with random erections but after having dopamine running through brain again, I wanted it more. Since last week, I have masturbate 3 times, 2 times to porn.
Porn has also made me bi sexual bug I don?t watch any gay porn at all and don't like guys in sexual way. So, one can imagine the serve effect porn has on brain. I have gotten couple of bj from guys as well but I regret them afterwards. I have been with shemale as well, overall I am totally fucked up. I have also downloaded the Grindr in past to get laid and other websites and method.
So far I have managed to cancel out most of triggers. Yesterday, I decide to delete my last trigger and that was a Grindr.
I do have a strong resilient mind but eliminating triggers is really important at this stage. I have been trying to quit for almost 2 years now. I am getting really close by experimenting with different things.
So as of today 4th October, day 1.
I have urges today mostly because of the p and m I did yesterday but I know I can get through first 2 days easily. After that temptation, will be less. Wish me luck.
 
A

Ashu001

Member
i relapsed on day 3rd. i know exactly what trigged it. i was too happy and ended up watching porn. felt pretty shitty after that.

Today 9th october
day 2nd
i been okay so far. i did had urges to watch porn but i ended up watching netflix. Nothing productive about this but i didn't get chance to go back to porn. which was the whole point anyway. i stayed at my gf's house yesterday. Lots of kissing was going on. i had an erection few times but it went away after 2-3 minutes. But playing with her body helps my brain to get used to original thing not some random girl in porn. i feel much better today, i will be going to bali for 2 weeks for the holiday, doing PMO there will be really hard but i will manage.
 
N

Numez

Guest
i relapsed on day 3rd. i know exactly what trigged it. i was too happy and ended up watching porn. felt pretty shitty after that.
Click to expand...
happiness triggers you? i read success stories, recovered porn addicts seems to be happy. reboot may not be for you  :D on a serious note, next time try feeling shitty earlier. not really serious again  :D

i feel much better today, i will be going to bali for 2 weeks for the holiday, doing PMO there will be really hard but i will manage.
Click to expand...
im sure you will, i believe in you  :D
 
A

Ashu001

Member
Today day 48.
I haven't watched porn for 48 days. i did have glimpse of images here and there on insta. I did had sex 4 times. i wasn't able to maintain a erection for a few minutes but then i got hard but not to full extent. so today its been 32 days since last i had sex.
I feel amazing but i masturbate twice today not to porn or anything else( I did wanted to watch it though). i do get an erection sometime by touch of own hands.
Reason i masturbate today probably because of my Gf. We were talking on Skype and then she start showing me her body and things. I think from there it went down hill. But its alright as it wasn't because of porn. I do have to be more careful from now on for at least 2 days. I do feel bad but there is no point feeling bad at this point.
Tips i have to share so far is being busy. I started going gym 6 times a week. This is a big help for both my body and brain.
Stay Strong Rebooters
 
A

Ashu001

Member
Today is day 64.
I masturbate twice today. one time to porn(Only watched for maybe 30sec) and second time to images.
Funny enough, i wasnt hard enough to my full extent both times but on my occasion boner, i am really hard. I do feel about it. especially when i am this close to my goal. This do not ruin my my progress but did set me back another 2 weeks or so. I am only 26 days away from hitting 90 days. I do not get urge to watch porn that frequently but it is there. i need to get focus more on my mindset and less on other things. so far everything is good.
 
A

Ashu001

Member
Today is day 73
I masturbate today to porn. I hate myself right now. I have exactly 50 days till my girlfriend who I met on a trip will be with me. I was trying to get rid of this addiction before she arrives but I fucked up big time. I masturbate today 3 times to porn, spent around 2 hours with this shit. I dont know what to do.
does it affect my recovery?
should i start from the bottom again?
 
A

Ashu001

Member
Day 22
Its been 22 days without any external sexual simulation. I feel good about myself. I do have a urge to watch porn at the moment but I am controlling it somehow. Been busy with things does help lots. I do get morning erection every second day.
I decide to start my 45 days mark from scratch as I failed on day 73. I don't think I will have to do 90 days as of a goal with hard mode. But watching porn is not a option for rest of my life. My girlfriend will be with me in early Feb. I will going to explain her all of this. She will be pretty understandable. I hope everything will work out nicely.
Keep it in your pants guys!
 
A

Ashu001

Member
Day 34
Woohoo guys it's been more than a month with hard core stuff. I do feel very horny on my day off, that's when I have the more time to think about. I am learning to not think of sex as an default when I don't have anything else to do. I feel very good. I been consistent with my gym, work and business. Morning wood does greet me time to time. I do not have any urge to watch porn. But I did have to delete some of my Facebook group and friend. They were sending me explicit clips, trying to sabotage my progress.
Everytime brain start to think about sex I try to pay close attention to my environment.
Good luck to all of you with this.
 
A

Ashu001

Member
Day 36
I was using an dating app and suddenly my brain wants to watch porn. I openened up a site and maybe looked at it images for 2 seconds and then I closed it. I didn't watched any videos or anything of that sort. That was so close to me being relapsed, but I pulled back. I am so grateful for that. I still have urge to watch it but I think my willpower has become little stronger than before. That's all I wanted to share. Be careful what you see and watch
 
N

Numez

Guest
Nice to see your willpower getting stronger. That is a great sign.
 
A

Ashu001

Member
day 38
I didn't watch porn but I did masturbate twice today. I don't even how I get into this situation I don't feel that bad. Does it effect my progress? Anyone help pls
 
N

Numez

Guest
Ashu001 said:
day 38
I didn't watch porn but I did masturbate twice today. I don't even how I get into this situation I don't feel that bad. Does it effect my progress? Anyone help pls
Click to expand...
I think it does affect your progress but you are also over with it. Its done, nothing to worry about. Focus on keeping it clean from now on. You made huge progress, dont lose yourself over a small step back. Its small step back but its also very dangerous one because if you buy into how small it is, you may think nothing of making another small step back and the cliff is steep.

Its a small step, but towards the end of the cliff.
 
A

Ashu001

Member
Day 41
I messed up a little on day 38. But eagerness of watching porn wasn't there to start with. I feel much better. I do get random erection day to day. Which I think is the sign of healing. I can also get erection from touch of hands but they are not rock solid hard.
Anyway, I am keeping myself clean and busy. Ever since I stopped it, I have also managed to start a side business. It's wonderful to think about lots of time you have on your hand after quiting this bad habit.
Happy hard mode guys
 
A

Ashu001

Member
Numezz said:
Ashu001 said:
day 38
I didn't watch porn but I did masturbate twice today. I don't even how I get into this situation I don't feel that bad. Does it effect my progress? Anyone help pls
Click to expand...
I think it does affect your progress but you are also over with it. Its done, nothing to worry about. Focus on keeping it clean from now on. You made huge progress, dont lose yourself over a small step back. Its small step back but its also very dangerous one because if you buy into how small it is, you may think nothing of making another small step back and the cliff is steep.

Its a small step, but towards the end of the cliff.
Click to expand...
I agree! I have been safe after that accident. But I did had a thought of watching it but I ignored it. Thanks for your help mate. I really appreciate you making time to help us guys.
 
A

Ashu001

Member
Day 45
I have urge to watch porn. Its one of these days where I don't feel like doing anything at all and lost. I feel like in no control of my life at this moment. It will pass but for now I just wanna watch porn and feel good. But I know I will feel like shit after whatching it. So I am not even gonna go there.
 
N

Numez

Guest
I don't feel like doing anything at all
Click to expand...

Have you ever done a to do list? Maybe during one of those days you can do a to do list but think of fun to do list, all the fun things you could do in a day, make a list, everything fun. During the day try to check off all the things you wrote down.

During the days you feel like doing nothing, its hard to come up with something fun on the spot. So try to write few things down and keep the list on your phone or somewhere accessible for a reminder. If something fun pops up in your head spontaneously during the day, make sure you write it down. Maybe its something you could do tomorrow or the day after tomorrow... Write it all down. When you feel like doing nothing, you easily forget about something fun to do and all fun activities slips away quickly from your mind when you are in that state.

When you start to create a fun to do list, mind will sometimes think of something funny to do "accidentally" during the day or sometimes in near future. Write it down immediately or it will slip away. Write all fun things down and like serious businessmen are chasing their to do list, you chase yours. Its totally different experience but maybe its appropriate for your current state of emptiness. You dont have dopamine and energy to go after big goals now so dont break yourself over it, build yourself up.

If you feel like it, you can add some chores and responsibilities but perceive them as side task. Its just a side task, its not what it is all about, its like 10-20% of what you are about to do today. Its something to knock off the list, like throwing a trash while going to small house party with your friends. Yes you are doing something good, trash can is full and you are emptying it, cleaning your house in a way, but your main path is going to the friends to have fun.

Maybe you can put it in the list like that, side tasks and main tasks. Side tasks = chores and responsibilities, main tasks/goals of the day = fun stuff.
 
A

Ashu001

Member
Numezz said:
I don't feel like doing anything at all
Click to expand...

Have you ever done a to do list? Maybe during one of those days you can do a to do list but think of fun to do list, all the fun things you could do in a day, make a list, everything fun. During the day try to check off all the things you wrote down.

During the days you feel like doing nothing, its hard to come up with something fun on the spot. So try to write few things down and keep the list on your phone or somewhere accessible for a reminder. If something fun pops up in your head spontaneously during the day, make sure you write it down. Maybe its something you could do tomorrow or the day after tomorrow... Write it all down. When you feel like doing nothing, you easily forget about something fun to do and all fun activities slips away quickly from your mind when you are in that state.

When you start to create a fun to do list, mind will sometimes think of something funny to do "accidentally" during the day or sometimes in near future. Write it down immediately or it will slip away. Write all fun things down and like serious businessmen are chasing their to do list, you chase yours. Its totally different experience but maybe its appropriate for your current state of emptiness. You dont have dopamine and energy to go after big goals now so dont break yourself over it, build yourself up.

If you feel like it, you can add some chores and responsibilities but perceive them as side task. Its just a side task, its not what it is all about, its like 10-20% of what you are about to do today. Its something to knock off the list, like throwing a trash while going to small house party with your friends. Yes you are doing something good, trash can is full and you are emptying it, cleaning your house in a way, but your main path is going to the friends to have fun.

Maybe you can put it in the list like that, side tasks and main tasks. Side tasks = chores and responsibilities, main tasks/goals of the day = fun stuff.
Click to expand...
Hi Thanks again for the brilliant advice. I do start using to do list for my everyday. actually, it had me much more proactive in my business. It is so easy to keep track of the things i would have forget. It happen to be much more efficient for both my personal life and side business.
 
A

Ashu001

Member
Day 82

Wow i cant believe i did 82 days without porn. It is so unbelievable. I have this trick i used when i have sexual thoughts or eager to watch porn. I focused my brain to some random things, for example tree, leaf, wall or any other thing. But i did masturbate 3 times during this steak. During all these session, i have never watched porn. Just my hand and maybe little bit of imagination.
Currently, i dont have urge to watch porn at all. I meeting my Girlfriend on 7th of march after 4 months. I am little nervous but confident as well. i feel so happy. This is the end of my relationship with porn.
 
J

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Really motivating and inspiring. I use the same technique and it also served me really well.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top