Rebooting - A daily practice - Day 1

Stoplooking

New Member
Day 1

I just discovered this site this morning. It appears to be the most helpful resource for me. When googling, it seems there isn?t sufficient focus on this issue, or even that it is a real problem. I really appreciate the directness of the intro video. I hope that posting my thoughts here will help me to stay focused.

I?ve been aware of a problem for a long time. But it?s been challenging to either admit it, or when I have, to restrain my impulses from negating that awareness.

Just last night I nearly allowed those impulses to take over and go back into business as usual. But somehow I managed to just say ?Eh, maybe I?ll just go to bed tonight.? Not an easy decision in the moment. Hardly a decision, really. I knew it would lead down the wrong path from what I really wanted. Taking a page out of my NLP research, I managed to shift my emotional state to indifference. It may have been easier as not as much time has passed since I last gave in to my urges. But for now, that indifference was enough.

Again, this morning was a bit of a challenge. Scrolling through Instagram was seemingly innocuous. But I noticed those familiar impulses. There?s no porn on my phone. But even still, the feed has some imagery that I obviously was triggered by. I got out of bed instead of exploring further. In hindsight, I recognize that those images, clearly not porn, were still a trigger for me. I?m thankful to have taken action instead, by getting out of bed and making it up. It seems a healthy alternative path.

I made some coffee, and decided to search a bit about how I can better manage my goal of overcoming this addiction, which has clearly impacted my ability to have close personal relationships. This site, and its message, namely the focus on putting a label on the process, has sparked a hopeful vision of the future for me.

It?s led me here, to writing this post. Having a label, which also makes a great deal of sense to me, is very helpful. It?s an anchor, Rebooting, that I can associate mindful, focused attention and positive actions with. I?ll try to continue my journey here. If nothing else, to give me the opportunity to keep focused on my goal, and to feel less alone in the process.

Thanks for sharing in my journey,
 
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