Keeping my feet on the ground

Well, here I am with a new journal. Things have changed a lot for me since my last post, and it just seemed too inconsistent to keep posting in the same one. It's not even related to my reboot, because I haven't changed my approach or started watching P again or anything like that. No changes there, but a bunch of unrelated difficulty in life came all at once and I'm not dealing with it that well to be honest. Trying to hold it together, but it's tough and a big challenge for me.

Perhaps when you are headed in a certain direction for a long time, the tendency is to think that it will continue forever? But what I can see now is that there are no guarantees in life, and I never know what the next moment will bring. Who knows, it could even be the kind of curveball that seems to change nearly everything!

Well, that is neither bad nor good, but it did teach me something about rebooting. I have written before about how easy it has been for me to get cocky about my reboot and start thinking that I've got this thing licked for good. That I'm somehow 'immunized' and I'll never watch P again no matter what. I wrote about that because I watched myself get cocky and then experience a relapse, and I have watched it happen to others, too!

This time I didn't relapse, but my situation taught me how easy it could be if things got bad enough. I had a thought like this:

What if I suddenly found myself in a terrible situation with no hope? Maybe homeless on the streets? Worse?

What then? Would I really care about avoiding P?

Hm... Maybe not. Maybe I wouldn't care.

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Maybe it seems negative, but this thought sobers me to put my feet back on the ground! I have to keep things in the proper perspective here.

I can still reboot and be happy about my progress and success, and that is very good. But I also have to learn to be realistic about my life. I can't use my success in rebooting and pretend it also means I am successful in other areas of life, because that may not be the case.

Hey gopher, i think it is very good that you decided to make a new journal with new trials and tribulations in your life. You said your trying to hold it togethet and that it's a big challenge. How are you today? What are some ways you're trying to keep it together?

Thanks pinkerton, your support means a lot! Sometimes life gets rough, but somehow we have to keep going.

I know it's been a while, and I'm sorry it took me so long to reply. But today I'm feeling much better, so I thought it'd be a good time to start posting again and catch up with all you guys.

Speaking of posting again, I'd like to try the full "hard mode" reboot this time! You know what that means: not just "no PMO," but also "no MO" either! (I'm not sure if edging is included? Maybe someone could help me out with that...)

I'm aiming for at least 90 days, but ultimately I hope to go much farther than that.

I know this will surely be my toughest challenge yet, but I'm very excited to give this a shot! Looking forward to seeing what new trials await me on this new path. I'll post my next update soon.

Hi crazygopher, going hard mode definitely includes edging as part of things you have to leave. I too struggle from peeking and a little bit of edging from time to time.

As a rule of thumb remember that ANY artificial sexual stimulation is off limits that includes fantasizing, edging, P or P subs (even facebook if you're looking at it to "check" people out).

Good luck with the hard mode.

And yeah, I agree life can be a bitch but hang in there buddy, you'll pull through

btw what's happening that you feel so down (if you don't mind me asking?)

Hey there. Great seeing you are doing well.  8)

Are you still using the 7 days MO interval method?