Author Topic: Just changing a bad habit  (Read 817 times)

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Just changing a bad habit
« on: May 07, 2017, 11:43:00 AM »
Hi everybody! I'm Max, I'm 20 and I just want to change this bad habit that I have that is watching to porn. I used to watch it since I was 12 I guess and it wasn't a problem to me untill 3 or 4 months ago while I started to notice how it was affecting my mood, my relationship with women and how it drained my energies. So I decided in December 2016 to take a break from it, and for quite a month I succeeded. During that period I felt great and motivated but then after an unpleasant event (a girl rejected me) I relapsed.
From February untill now I couldn't get more than a week without porn and that dropped me down, but on Thursday things changed, I discovered the whole scientific process behind this bad habit, its negative effects and all the things concerning dopamine etc.
Now I'm on my third day without it and I hope to continue this way.

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2017, 12:54:55 PM »
Day 4.

Woke up with a 70/80% morning wood. Actually I didn't have problems of erection so it doesen't matter really much to me, I wanted to change things because of how p. affects my personality.
Today I pleased myself using fantasies of my production about women I know in reality, not porn-induced fantasies.
I want to stop watching P. while M. is still ok for me as long as I do it with moderation (once a week max.) and using my own fantasies about real women.

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2017, 04:37:40 PM »
Day 5

Everything went ok, no urges, had some fantasies about real women I know. In the evening I was with friends and we were watching at some funny media on a friend's smartphone and some of these medias were "funny" p. gifs. I watched some of them, then I recognized what I was watching to, so I got up and had a game at Playstation.

Day 6

Full of energies today! I did my chores, studied a little, played a soccer game with friends and watched soccer in tv. I feel like I can do anything with time and discipline.
Obviously no p. during those days.

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2017, 11:00:30 AM »
Yesterday (Day 7)

The day started well, I went to my classes, did some chores but in the evening I was very stressed and I was really near to relapse, I already took my smartphone when a friend of mine ask me for hanging out, I interpretated it as a message for me saying "no, not tonight, go out and end your day with dignity" so I stopped.

Today (Day 8 )

The day started well as yesterday, I went to the offices of my university and while at home helped my father with his chores. But I was really tired because I slept really too little and that combined with stress made me searching for gratification. I was really horny and I resisted till 16pm more or less, then I relapsed.
Yes, I relapsed.. But I'm not giving up. It's better to relapse just a day in 365 than autosabotage everything for ever. I will continue what I started with some corrections. I will for sure continue not to watch p. but I will concede to myself up to 2 m. a week. Once is too little at the moment, maybe in future I'll reduce to once but for now I think 2 is better.

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #4 on: May 14, 2017, 12:40:07 PM »
Day 1

Everything was ok, no particular urges. I felt that I was more impulsive in doing things and in speaking to people than usual, that's because of yesterday relapse.

Day 2

As yesterday everything ok. No urges, no difficulties. I think that for these initial days after the last relapse I will easily resist, the difficult will come at Day 6 or 7 I guess but this time I will go forward!

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2017, 01:42:25 PM »
Day 3.

I relapsed again...

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2017, 11:22:16 AM »
Ok as I usual say to myself: every failure is a step forward to success.

On Tuesday evening I restarted my reboot and everything went ok.
I understood that an important cue to me was enjoying passive hobbies, like watching football highlights or tv. So I started changing my hobbies from passive to active. Now I don't only watch sports but I also try to know more about them.

Day 2
Yesterday I pleased myself as planned with fantasies of my own production.
I planned two days a week of MO (without porn) as I wrote on the lasts posts, because I don't have ED, I just want to feel mentally sharper not looking at P.

Day 3
Today everything went ok, no urges, no stress.

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2017, 11:40:27 AM »
Day 4

Also today went ok, I had some urges but I repelled them.

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #8 on: May 21, 2017, 02:03:55 PM »
Day 5

No particular urges, I think I'm doing good.

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #9 on: May 22, 2017, 01:13:52 PM »
Day 6
Everything ok, I had some flashbacks but they pass fast.
Let's achieve week 1!

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #10 on: May 23, 2017, 01:05:27 PM »
Day 7
1 Week

We got it! I achieved one week without porn. That's a little step but it's meaningful. Let's continue this way and achieve another week.

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #11 on: May 24, 2017, 01:01:28 PM »
Day 8
I had some urges but my mind was stronger. I feel it's getting stronger at saying no day after day but I also know that's incorrect thinking to change something that lasted 9 years in only a week. The harder days are coming and I'm ready to face them.

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #12 on: May 25, 2017, 12:19:40 PM »
Today (day 9 since last relapse) everything went ok, I pleased my self without P as planned and had no urges.
Then just some minutes ago happened something that never happened in those last 9 days and that is a real strong cue to me. I was left home alone. I couldn't control myself and relapsed.
But this won't win over me!
I know I made an error but if you see it from another point of view, following this diet I watched to P just once a week! That's already a success. But I want more and every setback is an opportunity to reach more.
Now I decided that whenever I am left home alone for a good amount of time, I will eat a tasty snack instead of watching P. It's not an healthy solution I know but I do a lot of sport so a little bit of calories won't harm once in a while.

So let's start again our counter hoping in a better result!

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #13 on: June 12, 2017, 01:56:33 PM »
Hi everybody! Some weeks have passed since my last post here on my journal. From that day I had an hard time, I struggled trying to not PMO but couldn't resist for more than 3 days.
Then after a really bad day I thought that actually I knew how to stop PMO, I just failed at applying what I knew because I didn't make it a priority.
So I made a promise to myself that I won't relapse ever again and I started learning and making practice of anti-PMO techniques everyday.
My first day without P was the 9th of June, so now it's my Day 4.

Nikola Numez

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 1202
  • Personal Text
    everything is either a potato or not a potato
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #14 on: June 12, 2017, 02:44:16 PM »
what are your anti-PMO techniques that you do every day?
My Last Relapse - 14. Aug. 2017

Who Am I, You, We, Them, Us? You only get thoughts about who you are, but who is the one getting the thoughts? We don't know who we are but we still live life xD

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #15 on: June 12, 2017, 03:09:09 PM »
what are your anti-PMO techniques that you do every day?

The most important one is writing down the cues of my porn habit and then think a new habit that can replace the one of watching porn.
For example, one of my cues was coming back home after work really stressed and tired. I noticed that and now instead of PMO, I just drink a big glass of water, eat something tasty and lay down on my bed for a small nap.
Drinking,eating tasy meals and napping are activites that bring dopamine, the same reward brought by PMO. So I hacked the habit loop by using the same cue, the same reward but changing the habit.

Maverick-Warrior

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 45
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #16 on: June 13, 2017, 09:58:50 AM »
First, congratulations on your great job! I read thorugh your posts and some of it reminded me of my own journey and some struggles, I had, too.
How do you manage it to even think of eating and sleeping when you are feeling horny? I ask this because that is my main problem: I am horny and acting out on it. I have no "logical second" in which I can think: instead of acting out, do this or that. I admire this ability and would love to know how to master it.

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #17 on: June 13, 2017, 02:46:08 PM »
First, congratulations on your great job! I read thorugh your posts and some of it reminded me of my own journey and some struggles, I had, too.
How do you manage it to even think of eating and sleeping when you are feeling horny? I ask this because that is my main problem: I am horny and acting out on it. I have no "logical second" in which I can think: instead of acting out, do this or that. I admire this ability and would love to know how to master it.

Thank you man, your post really helps!
Well I think that something that may help in being lucid is writing down, literally, what are you doing when you feel horny.
I'll post my cue lists to explain better the process:

1) Being laid down on couch or bed
 - New habit: when I feel horny get up and eat something tasty.

2) Being alone at home for a while
- New habit: if horny, take a cold bath to genital area, more than once if necessary, then plan what I'll do during this time I'll be alone.
(For this I noticed that there wasn't any other pleasant habit that could go well, eating something tasty was too weak for this type of cue)

3) Doing some routine activities on computer
- New habit: get up and take a cold bath to genital area (same thing)

4) Feeling stressed and tired when coming back home after work.
- New habit: came home, drink, eat and sleep.

5) Stressed because of too much work at home.
- New habit: relax watching something in tv and plan something pleasant for the rest of the day.

6) When come back home after hanging out with friends.
- New habit: prepare pijamas on bed before leaving home, then when arrived at home drink, dress up the pijama and immediately sleep.

Other than identifying the cues a good hint may be addressing the underlying problems that cause you to watch P.
For example I watch at P often because I am stressed or bored, so other than having ready-to-use new habits whenever a cue appears, I am also trying to solve those underlying problems.

I hope that I explained it well, English is not my primary language  ;D

----

Day 5

Everything ok, cues 5,4 and 2 appeared and managed everything ok.

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #18 on: June 14, 2017, 01:34:02 PM »
Day 6

Cues 1 and 5 appeared but I managed them good, I feel those new habits are working.
There's a lot more still to do but I am prepared to face them and win!

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #19 on: June 15, 2017, 01:23:48 PM »
Day 7
I MO as planned, using fantasies of my production about a real girl that I know.
I think that MO twice a week as planned makes me more calm and it enables me to manage stress better while at the same time I'm not watching P. anymore.
Cue 4 appeared but managed it good.
Let's continue, I am still at the first step.

Maverick-Warrior

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 45
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #20 on: June 15, 2017, 06:10:17 PM »
Thank you very much for that detailed answer. I am sure it will help, I will definitely try those things out!

And you did a great job explaining  ;). It is not my primary language, either. ;D

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #21 on: June 16, 2017, 01:45:01 PM »
Day 8
Everything ok, no cues appeared.

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #22 on: June 17, 2017, 01:50:59 PM »
Day 9
Another day managed well. Stressed because of a class had in the morning but managed it well.
I had some flashbacks but I was standing strong in my position and it passed.

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #23 on: June 18, 2017, 04:44:10 PM »
Day 10
Everything ok. I had some flashbacks but they passed away after some seconds.
Today I realized something important: something inside me has changed indeed until know I was acting like "I know porn exist, it is an option, but I'm resisting"... now I am more like "porn is not a component of my life anymore, I don't relate to it" and I really feel it.

Max3

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 73
    • View Profile
Re: Just changing a bad habit
« Reply #24 on: June 19, 2017, 01:28:03 PM »
Day 11
Another good day. I MO'd as planned and managed stress well.
Let's continue for another good evening.