Completed 6 Days

Hi I just like to start another thread after my last try in which I had gone 21 days without porn. Yeah that ended up harshly with an emotional outburst at my office. But this time I aim for 90 days as I know anything less than that is not at all effecrive. If you want the fruits then a 90 day is needed as the price.
So I wanted to take some steps and for the last 6 days i was succesfull in keeping me away from anything that is pleasurable visually and I am also glad for that.
Like The hard way is the effective way.
I would continue to update th is daily weekly or monthly about my progress.  8)

So I wanted to take some steps and for the last 6 days i was succesfull in keeping me away from anything that is pleasurable visually and I am also glad for that.

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what steps you take?

Numezz said:

So I wanted to take some steps and for the last 6 days i was succesfull in keeping me away from anything that is pleasurable visually and I am also glad for that.

Click to expand...

what steps you take?

Click to expand...

Basically you know I started taking homeopathy medicine for my depression. Because you know stopping porn means messing up the neurochemical centre.so there will be a general surge of depression and anxiety and taking something especially something that does not cause side effects like a homeopathy medicine for depression would I think help me with the flat line. Also I am in this process for like 3 years started the journey back 2017 and still was not able to get a 90 day streak.
So I know it's not only about streak I have some strong physical dependency with porn and that means I will be lost in the flat line and suicidal durations ar e also coming.
Another thing I took is taking exercise and also I play video games or something to distract.

I think what happens in no porn streak is like the communications between th brain cells are drastically reduced. This is why we feel a general feeling of emptiness and nothingness and identity loss during flat line. So it's a biological thing.

To me I am. Now on day 9 and I feel I am trihger d by some Facebook groups because they are embracing lockdown and also mastubation at home.
I find it hard to control myself that was a truth. But there will exactly be activities that helps for distraction and distraction only eorlk out nothing else. We can't face the addiction face to face we can only allow other things to fill the empty gap.

Day 9 (night)
I feel terrible insomnia cannot even slip that I feel no sleep, my sleep patterns were drastically affected. So I have triggers at night. I have thoughts like what all things I needed to suffer just to stay sober and some thoughts like do I want to experiance this for the rest of 80 days coming. That makes this lot more creepier.
This is a situation I think will have a chance to get lesser and lesser with time and I am hoping better things.

Day 10 feeling good, my decisive powers are back online, I have more power in my voice and more strength. And i want to hit 90 days no matter what.

Yesterday was filled with insomnia and I got only like 3 hrs of sleep or something. After woke up, I thought about playing video games, doing some small exercise to get me. Busy and distracted throughout the day.

I can learn something new, try to do something.

Day 11,I had actually Published an Ebook yesterday! I had enormous energy yesterday,Dont know from where it comes??
I had collected a collection of texts from my old pc,consolidated it and edited it using an online software then again edited and consolidated it using the publishing software and published the book at night 12:00 pm.seriously nofap will give you that pull to do things that are hard.Also as i said i am taking a homeopathic medicine for my mood.To be honest its helping me to dont just get lost in that obsession.As Pornography addiction is an compulsive behaviour that it is fired by obsessions ,now obsessions come but i have some control over my body than before and not feeling that much headache or foggyness that i usually feel during the period.

Day 12 feeling good, I have more energy now and also you know more physically active, and all. Seems like a new thing for me
I know this 12 days is nothing for me like I want at least 90 days of sobereity from porn to achieve anything .
And I am looking forwards for that..
Yesterday had some insomnia but you know if you lob the journey then it's so good. Bad things happens like getting into an uneasy situation like provoking triggering situations but it's all about who you are and what you choose if you choose sobereity then succes will follow.

Day 13, yesterday I experianced a Very Realistic wet dream, and the main thing is it was not at all linked with Porn. It was like some of the people here described like a real encounter with a girl. And I got high by imaginating about the touch, the exchange of emotions and everything. Seems like my mind through my dream has explained to me what it is that I like in my deep. The real Union.
This is the thing I like about this, that mind reacts in weird but amazing ways..

Also I was thinking that I was addicted to porn from age of 10 and then continued it till age 20 which is exactly 10 years I am using nudity for feeling Pleasure. So and I started my resistance on my age of 21and now it's like 3 years.
And each time I am frustrated about my addiction I need to know how can something that formed through 10 years can be stopped with 3 years. I want another 7 years which is exactly during 2027 January 1st  I will be free from porn. I will enjoy that new year eve with freedom from porn. I can experiance the feeling the pleasure and clearness of mind I will experiance in that day when I accumulate the Power of Self discipline.
I intent to return my service in the form of Periodic streaks and Soberity periods. I will try to undergo treatment for my depression. I will take my homeopathy medicines in time for the next 6 months.
I intent to go to counselling to tal? out my feelings. I would also try my best to not go into any form of sexual based Relationships that are Harmfull to my Mind during this time.

Completed 2 weeks of nofap. This is what I understood from my first 2 weeks.

Completing the first two to 5 days would be mentally easy but physically hard like we have all those memories alive and suddenly the outlet is closed so even small things can trigger us back int mastubation in the first 5 days. After that it is like a small mental withdrawals happen like foggy mind, we slowly become bored and more of an empty feelings for the next 2 or3 days and then after the 8 th day and all we may get a sudden urge of energy which can be like more masculine power, we feel like we gain some super powers our looks changed our eyes changed our hairs were more brighter and all. Also more emotional resilience also and from day 9 to day 13 I tho k there is a chance of doing something creative as we have some faith over our super powers and creativity surge that happened to us. So great chance that we may do something creative and after day 12 we feel comfortable with the new state that we are again gone back to a small boredom like states. Like the initial Excitement of super powers has gone and we may confuse that this works like cycle or something so. Some realizations come to our mind about nofap this can be a bit depressing as we understand nofap needs some effort from our side for long term effect. But this is a crucial stage I think it's the  bitter stage of Nofap where we understand it's not a funny thing and it's serious and it also bears fruits and results.
I am now completed 2 weeks.

I really like reading your daily recovery notes,never give up or stop.
May you reach the 90 days recovery.

Thanks new drug fighter, I really liked your Posts also somehow able to relate with your journey.
Yesterday I just tried to self pleasure myself because I actually felt like my whole body not at all reacting to anything at all. I was so foolish to not take in the fact that I am on flat line. During when I bathed I saw my dick in a dead condition. The flat lines makes me so anxious. But apart from that no porn or no masturbation happened. I just compulsively tried to self pleasure.
Soon I understand I lose this if I masturbate and stopped it right away and continued my other works.
I was writing a Book so I just deviated my urge for masturbation to making a pretty book cover and also I sleeped

Your words really made my day,I felt that I passed this stituation and victored with you, embrace you new awareness and mindfulness when you run inner conversation and decided intentionaly to keep you clean days clean.
Celebrate your success bro,and waiting for your  book.

Thanks newdrugfighter, thanks for the push.
I am on day 16 and am filled with urges to watch porn. It's hard to resist it. Feeling more connected with my intellectual Part today. Like i have my own view about things. One thing I notice in this No porn streaks are that our internal communication increases when we don't watch porn for like 2 weeks.
It's like we are able to see or visualize our inner world and we are able to project that to outside world as well. This can be termed as many thing. Maybe it's the mind full state that is achieved because of 2 weeks of discipline, or something. But I feel I am mor  connected with my own mental facilities like thinking, imaginating and focusing and processing.
It's like I know what I am doing in each and every second. When we talk with somebody if we are a porn addict we simply talk, blabber or what we say we are Not at all conscious about who we are who they are what we are talking and things like that. In short we are completely unaware of the situation in hand.
But if we ar  free from porn you know what you are thinking while you are talking to a person. This thing is very important as the old people say about the importance of terms that come out of our tongue.
We process what comes out of us when we are ilnot watching porn otherwise we don't process we just spill it out like we spill our seamen on the floor

Day 17
I am feeling some Resilience to this heavy withdrawal effects. It's increasing each day. I have urges to watch porn and it's bad also.
I have pretty good improvements in term of intellectual progress. I can now make logical decisions that's both emotionally as well as rationally Acceptable.
I was not Being affected by small things like conflict or something.
That's why I said my resilience has increased both to emotional ups and downs.
I have urges to masturbate as it was little bit hard. I do exercise daily I take 100 pushups at morning to get the Push I need.
It's all about compulsion when it com's it's like a brain chemical deficiency and when it hits you you have nothing else but rely on masturbation.
What we can do is treat the disease with logic. By providing the brain with positive hormones and all.

Day 17 update
I had so much depression surrounding my life, My circumstances and most are things that I cannot change which makes it more Serious. I had depression and one of the main source that I fight with was porn. And now I am left without it. The curfew makes me hard to go each day.
I am calling out for help and support.

Sadb,

I'd say that if you're looking for help and support with this, you came to a very good place to get just that. I'm currently on my journey with this as well, and I have had success in the past but have relapsed. I know that you said in your post porn was one of the things that you had to get you through that depression. What is seems like though is that porn may have infact been contributing to that depression as well and that is something that you wanted to change - I imagine that's a main reason why you're on this website. I think there is a lot of taboo behind these two things, but I swear by meditation and journaling. I have a lot of negative feelings, but used to have far more in the past. Journaling is just something that I do on my computer to get my thoughts out into a word document that I have saved, and I just write about whatever I'm feeling usually on a daily basis. But if I really feel sad or the strong desire to watch porn, I go on to my document and write to get those thoughts out of my head. They may still linger and be things that I think about, but for me it's important to find SOME way that I can deal with them. Meditation is something that is really really easy to get into it - it's just about bringing yourself to do it. There's a great introductor app anyone can download called "Headspace" that can start out just with quick little 10 minute guided meditations.

I don't know what's leading toward the negative feelings that you may be having, but I know for me that using porn as an outlet makes me feel better for the exact time I use it, then worse right after. I don't know if it's the same for you, but I know what that means for me is I then need SOMETHING ELSE to do when I feel those feelings. It's hard to start that other activity, because watching porn may be so hard-wired into one's brain if that's what they're resorted to when stressed, sad, angry, etc. For me, journaling and meditation are two of those other activities I go to. Many other people say working out as well, but to me that just doesn't help me sit with and make sense of the feelings I have going on in that moment. Nonetheless, try different things and see what works well for you, but the trick is just doing SOMETHING when all you want to do is watch porn - just don't let it be pulling up one of those sites or pics on your phone.

Hope this helps man - you have support here. Even people aren't commenting on posts, don't get discouraged. You being on here and a member on this site shows you're part of the community here, and that in and of itself is supportive enough. Props to you for trying to make a change - keep up the grueling, hard work. As someone who has had success in the past and is determined to get back there, it is worth the pain you have now. I'm feeling it too in my own way. Stay strong man!

Thank you jb1997 your words really made my day.
Today was day 18 for me and I have some bad temptations to watch porn. It's big and especially its more physical rather than psychological. It comes from my body that there is a need to masturbate and go do it like that.
Because this was not only obsession and also there is a compulsion element in it which makes it succes for a Dsm entry.
So I think one of the worst Manifestation of Obsessive compulsive disorder is Porn Addiction. As the obsession and compulsion is simply over the edge.
Just wishing if I can get through this... need your support guys and tanks jb1997 once again.

I had lost my last streak on day 18 and now I am again back and presently on completed 2 days of no pornography.
I want to stay off from porn at all costs and I had some very bad taste with pornography. I feel. I am escalating to more weird stuffs as the relapses make me crave to look into porn that was so Different than I watched. It feels like my mind is somehow trying to bring back the amount of Shock it gets when watching high intensity scenes daily in a relapse.
But I am happy I was able to come back faster..

Hey man, I would recommend going for 45 days streak instead of 90. 90 days seems too much for me. I would recommend split the goal in half first. Take one day at a time. All the best

Sadb,

If you'd like, reading the book "Your Brain on Porn" by Gary Wilson was actually nice in the way it helped me understand a lot of the things that were going on in my brain and what i was being sensitized and de-sensitized to, and what led to that point. I'm sure many of us on here have seen youtube videos or Wilson's Ted talk, or a similar video, but having the full book and really being able to read through a lot of the content but hear other peoples' stories (struggles and successes). I also agree that shortening your goal may be helpful. Also, there's another website that I really got into when all this started for me called "Impact Theory", and just listen to some of the shows/interviews on there. It got me thinking about things in different ways. Really really amazing site. Keep working though and just keep improving each day.