Hello everybody. I've come here because I decided to take a step forward and make a change. I will talk a bit about myself to help you look into my situation, and hopefully we can all mutually help each other. I feel like I will do this just fine if I have people that understand me by my side.
So, I've finally come to a point where I can no longer simply be okay with this and therefore I decided to return here. Yes, I had been here before to this page, it was about two years ago and I fully dedicated myself to a rebooting. I -used to- watch porn frequently and masturbate to it, until it was too late and I realised that I was caught in the same web that we're all in now. Like I said this was about two years ago- so, where do I currently stand?
It's simple. I have managed to fully abstain from porn, it is no longer a must, I don't masturbate to it anymore and the times that I have had the urges to masturbate when I felt that I had 'healthy' erections, I did so fantasizing about women I know, in a scenario that was as less pornographical as possible. But even so, my libido is very low. But let's keep going, there will be more below as I write this.
I'm twenty one years old, I have suffered from depression and anxiety for years (my depression is not as severe as wanting to kill myself or anything) to the point where I feel desinterest for everything in general. I work four days a week, seven hours in a job that is demanding on my physique. I height 191 cm and weight about 96.5 KG, which is fine in correlation to my height. I go to the gym 3 times a week in the morning and do between 1 hour - 1 hour and half lenghted workouts. Overall I'm healthy and as far as I am aware I have no medical conditions (other than sinusitis which is irrelevant). So, bottom line- my physique is on a good condition.
Unfortunately for my mental condition I am not so sure I can say the same, because as I already mentioned before I do suffer from depression and it cripples me on many ways... so, as you might be problably asking yourself, where do I spend all my free time considering how much I work? Well, I love writting- especially roleplaying, which I do on an MMORPG (World of Warcraft). A detail that I'd like to highlight here, yes, there have been several occasions where I found my character engaging in erotism, but the question is how much is that deep of a problem for the reboot? Asides from playing Warcraft, I usually play Hearthstone, watch some TV (little), and recently I've found a girl through my roleplays... and yes, it was the fact she became my friend that triggered something within me and brought me here. She teased me several times and I just thought to myself- if this was a situation where she actually wanted to engage with me, where she was near me- what would have happened? Could I get it up?
I am often a reclusive person as it shows and I'm not the type of guy that enjoys drinking himself to death (never tried), that goes to the disco and stays there up to 3 AM or more, that likes to go out much. Because of that as well, I have some social anxiety problems. So, yes, I don't go out and I don't have any contact with women. I'm a virgin. My routine is basically go to work, go home, go to the gym.
I know it sounds silly but the point is I feel like I've been hidding away from this problem and thanks to her I am here to confront it again. I am in a position that I don't know if I am healed or not, but chances are I am not. I don't get many erections, and when it happens sometimes they don't reach to the peek (real hard). If no other thoughts are in my mind and if I find myself at peace, plus I begin massaging my groin, I can start raising it, but even so it takes its time and never feels natural. There have been a few occasions where just via thoughts, I managed to fully erect my penis, but its rare.
So... here it is. I'm not sure if I forgot to add anything but if so do point it out and post questions.
Speaking of which, I do have a few of my own:
- Like most of us, I am often going through Facebook and suddenly suggestive images like a woman's bust popping out of her shirt appear, even nudity. It's not like I can't avoid it sometimes because I didn't even search it up in the first place. How problematic can this be, and are there any solutions? Does this ruin a reboot?
- I mentioned that I roleplay on a game. Would it be a problem that my character was romantically engaged to another and the writting could involve actions such as kissing and whatnot?
- How do I figure out if I can just rise it or not? I'm confused, yeah. I know of a place that has prostitutes, would that be a good way to find out?
Thank you all for dedicating your time to this.
So, I've finally come to a point where I can no longer simply be okay with this and therefore I decided to return here. Yes, I had been here before to this page, it was about two years ago and I fully dedicated myself to a rebooting. I -used to- watch porn frequently and masturbate to it, until it was too late and I realised that I was caught in the same web that we're all in now. Like I said this was about two years ago- so, where do I currently stand?
It's simple. I have managed to fully abstain from porn, it is no longer a must, I don't masturbate to it anymore and the times that I have had the urges to masturbate when I felt that I had 'healthy' erections, I did so fantasizing about women I know, in a scenario that was as less pornographical as possible. But even so, my libido is very low. But let's keep going, there will be more below as I write this.
I'm twenty one years old, I have suffered from depression and anxiety for years (my depression is not as severe as wanting to kill myself or anything) to the point where I feel desinterest for everything in general. I work four days a week, seven hours in a job that is demanding on my physique. I height 191 cm and weight about 96.5 KG, which is fine in correlation to my height. I go to the gym 3 times a week in the morning and do between 1 hour - 1 hour and half lenghted workouts. Overall I'm healthy and as far as I am aware I have no medical conditions (other than sinusitis which is irrelevant). So, bottom line- my physique is on a good condition.
Unfortunately for my mental condition I am not so sure I can say the same, because as I already mentioned before I do suffer from depression and it cripples me on many ways... so, as you might be problably asking yourself, where do I spend all my free time considering how much I work? Well, I love writting- especially roleplaying, which I do on an MMORPG (World of Warcraft). A detail that I'd like to highlight here, yes, there have been several occasions where I found my character engaging in erotism, but the question is how much is that deep of a problem for the reboot? Asides from playing Warcraft, I usually play Hearthstone, watch some TV (little), and recently I've found a girl through my roleplays... and yes, it was the fact she became my friend that triggered something within me and brought me here. She teased me several times and I just thought to myself- if this was a situation where she actually wanted to engage with me, where she was near me- what would have happened? Could I get it up?
I am often a reclusive person as it shows and I'm not the type of guy that enjoys drinking himself to death (never tried), that goes to the disco and stays there up to 3 AM or more, that likes to go out much. Because of that as well, I have some social anxiety problems. So, yes, I don't go out and I don't have any contact with women. I'm a virgin. My routine is basically go to work, go home, go to the gym.
I know it sounds silly but the point is I feel like I've been hidding away from this problem and thanks to her I am here to confront it again. I am in a position that I don't know if I am healed or not, but chances are I am not. I don't get many erections, and when it happens sometimes they don't reach to the peek (real hard). If no other thoughts are in my mind and if I find myself at peace, plus I begin massaging my groin, I can start raising it, but even so it takes its time and never feels natural. There have been a few occasions where just via thoughts, I managed to fully erect my penis, but its rare.
So... here it is. I'm not sure if I forgot to add anything but if so do point it out and post questions.
Speaking of which, I do have a few of my own:
- Like most of us, I am often going through Facebook and suddenly suggestive images like a woman's bust popping out of her shirt appear, even nudity. It's not like I can't avoid it sometimes because I didn't even search it up in the first place. How problematic can this be, and are there any solutions? Does this ruin a reboot?
- I mentioned that I roleplay on a game. Would it be a problem that my character was romantically engaged to another and the writting could involve actions such as kissing and whatnot?
- How do I figure out if I can just rise it or not? I'm confused, yeah. I know of a place that has prostitutes, would that be a good way to find out?
Thank you all for dedicating your time to this.