success: date

i had a date with a pretty girl today. i told her about my addiction, im high school dropout, she already knows im not rich we met through my job, im video gamer, i have no goals etc. she messaged me after date. success for me, big one. i dont care about marriage, kids or any long term thing. im pretty short term when it comes to girls so its big success. if you can call it success, im just happy about it.

total failure in terms of my feelings because i felt totally limp, i mentally know im attracted to her but physically im failing big time. couple of reaction but for short time, feeling very dead as expected. this porn addiction is the biggest problem in my life, its totally devastating, as i said it to her. im sure she cant really understand it.

i also noticed that i suck at video games during reboot and after relapse i blossom. this porn addiction is hell of a lot worse than we can imagine, it impacts our lives completely in every area because brain is involved in all areas of life. 

she wants to sleep over night at my house, she probably likes me. she came to my job 2 days in a row looking for me and second time she asked one of my colleagues for my number. thats how we met. she worked as a promoter for some beer and i worked in that shop as a security. i "declined" her because she lives too far away but she came back searching for me and she is willing to travel for hours so we are in.

im so glad i told her about my addiction and my dick not working, i keep telling her subtly that cuddling is all she can get from me for now. our first date was horrible for me but i learned that i have very high expectation from dating so i was wrong. she still likes me after we went on date and she wants to sleep over at my house because travelling back and forth for hours just for a date is senseless, in my opinion.

i just cant believe that a female human being that is pretty can like me despite me being me. i dont even "give a fuck" if we ever meet again, this is a sign that i can be liked. i like her too though  8).

Haha of course she likes you dude. If I was in your shoes I wouldnt tell her sh*t actually and play the rebelous guy like *yeah Ive got all these but I dont give a f*ck* lol you know haha girls like this type of guys. But even though you told her she still likes you. Dont worry about pied and everything and dont fall in the trap of society about looks and sh*t I guarantee you no matter how rich you are or how good your body looks there will always be somebody to compare with and you will end up in a vicious cycle. Look around you most people are full of jealously and never really in the moment because the moment is beyond just looks money etc. Its all of it and none at all.

Of course it would be great to have a car no need for a fancy one so you can pick her up and not take the bus ( talking about me lol ) or have some money so you can pay for her coffee. But not more than that dont lose the big picture. Above all, own yourself so you can change it not superficially but wholly. From the shallow you go to the deep.

Very glad to see you at the success stories man keep it up.

I am so glad that you are getting out there! Of course you can be liked! You have a lot of good qualities, I can tell just from the things you post! What I am happy about is the fact that you are allowing yourself to be liked by someone. It takes courage to be vulnerable with another person. That is huge! It is great that you were honest, now you have nothing to hide and stress about. You can just be yourself. Congrats! I am so happy for you!